Loss and Love

Chapter Sixteen

It's like, it'd been forever since I last sat in this cafeteria. Yes, were back to school. And were all here except for Luke and Ann, it's actually strange because Luke's always here this time on Monday except for Ann, who has another class.

I was sitting on Chris lap eating bits of nothing of my food thinking about the the day before new year. Jo and I went to visit Tanya's grave. I didn't know he been there so many times before then. It was weird standing to the grave of your dead sister you didn't know existed. I'm just glad that my mom will be walking again in a few weeks. I could tell that she hate the whole idea of lying in bed all day, and always having someone to take her to the bathroom, or help her get dress.

"So Liz, what are we gonna do for your birthday this year?" Lydia asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Birthday? Me?" I asked her confused.

"Uhhh, whose birthday is January twentieth?" She asked me like am crazy.

My mind been so preoccupied lately, till I'd forgot that I have a birthday, and not only that, but it's right around the corner. "I don't know. Anything." I said shrugging.

"You're crazy right?" Tracy asked me with a mouth full of apple. I just looked at her blankly. "Liz,  it's going to be your twentieth birthday. You're gonna be saying goodbye to teenage. That deserves a celebration."

"She's right." Chris told me with his hands on my waist possessively. "If you want we can have a little party at my apartment. What do you say?"

I just haven't thought of my birthday.
"I don't know, guys. Honestly I've totally forgot about my birthday. I've been thinking on a lot of other things lately."

"Just leave it to us, we know just what to do. Right Trace?" Lydia said with a smile on her face. What was she planing in that smart head of hers now.

"Right. It's gonna be your best birthday ever." Tracy said smiling

"Okay girls, plan something but, make sure it's not anything big. I'm sure Ann would not want to be left out on this." I said in a way of reminding thetn to tell Ann.

In that moment Luke came to the table, looking confused, angry, scared and sad all at once.

He plopped down next to Chris and I.
"I fucked up man. I fucked up! I fucked up! Damn!" He said, passing both his hands in his already messed up hair. We all looked at him confused. I mean he haven't explain anything yet. He's just throwing out curses from mouth.

"What's wrong man?" Bob asked him.

"I just told Ann how I felt about her and she slapped me and told me never to talk to her, ever again." He lifted his head, that's when I saw how red his eyes have gotten. "What am I suppose to do now, man? She thinks am an idiot, which is partly true," he said trying to make light of the situation and I can't tell it's not helping "but am being serious this time. I want to be with her, she means so much to me. She can't tell me she doesn't feel anything for me. I could tell I saw something in her eyes when I told her that I love her, but it vanished so quickly." We all looked at him as if we had known this moment would come. Though we knew because all of us excluding Ann had known all along how Luke feels.

I slid off Chris lap and sat next to Luke. I laid a hand on his shoulder. "Luke, you have to calm down, she's going to come around, just let her be for now. Maybe it just came to her as a shock." I said trying to make him calm a little.

"But Liz what if she never talk to me again? What if we never be as friendly as we were before. Things been going fine between us the past few weeks. Even when I drove her home for Christmas we were so happy, the entire ride. We've been talking a lot these days, so I thought that it was time I told her how I felt. But when I said those words, she just lost it and slapped me and told me never to speak to her again and she left. I didn't try going after her because I knew it would be useless. Our friendship is never going to be the same again Liz. Never." He said sounding mad at himself.