Its night time and I want to share a little reflection.
So over the school holidays, I went for many cca trainings and learnt a lot throughout. Honestly, I did not think I was a good player, and sure enough, the coach reprimanded me many times. I would be lying if I said it did not hurt, but of course I understand its for my own good. Things like "You do not deserve a teammate like her" personally said by the coach really hurts even though she said it half jokingly. Countless of reminders to me enabled me to improve as a player as I realised my mistakes and had more self awareness. I realised that for myself, I needed to receive harsh treatment to improve rapidly. However, because of this, people perceive me as "Do not work hard during trainings" and "not doing drills properly". I do not expect compliments and sugar coated words. It might seem like a small deal, but it matters a lot because I sincerely appreciate and want to do well for the team. I am trying my best. The greatest insult to me is that I do not take training seriously when I am trying my best. The sole reason why I have not given up on myself because I still adamantly believe that I am not disappointing myself. I have the potential to do well. I can and I will eventually show them that I am serious to do well. Along the way, I could garner some dislike from others, but that's ok. Its inevitable , right? It feels good to be reflective because only then can we hear our silent inner thoughts loudly.
