The simple life always looks good on paper, well I guess that’s not for me; there’s no such thing as a simple life anyway, even if there was I wouldn’t want it. Simple lives don’t come with big fat dilemmas and god am I stuck in one, moving back home being one of them should I or not that’s the elephant in the room.
Sitting here on the tour bus staring out the window, writing in this diary ignoring the harsh looks from Mark as he walks back and forth. I could do with my Ma here, she gave good advice, I’m not sure what she’d think or say to me now. Ahh well there’s nothing I can do.
“So have you made a decision yet?”
My moody writing is compromised by another grumble from Mark, there’s no point deflecting his question it just comes back ten times worse.
“No, I’m not good at making decisions..” I mumble flicking my eyes back to the diary
“Well, you made a pretty big decision dumping Matt at the altar though didn’t you? I thought you’d find this simple..”
“Can you just shut the fuck up about that please. Stop trying to make me feel guilty, I already feel horrible enough!” I snarl, flying off the seat and out the bus but I’m followed briskly by Mark.
“You know what I think about what you did and you deserve to feel guilty but it’s your decision. I need to know, are you moving back to Ireland with us or not?”
“I need somewhere to live first...”
“Rina’s sorted it for you. But she needs a yes or no, that’s why I asked...”
“What? That’s a sudden change of tune, one minute you’re angry the next you’re offering me a house?” I snap in slight shock that he’s not ripping into me again.
“Do you want it or not. It’s all paid for you won’t need to work much, just part time..”
I’m taken aback by his sudden change but nod in silence giving him a slight smile, moving isn’t the least of my worries; I’ve got to get Glen into rehab and to a therapist when we get back.
I haven’t faced anything I feel yet, it’s all bottled up like a time bomb that will go off sooner or later. Well for now all I’ve got to worry about is getting moved and settled back home. I can’t say how relieved I am to be going back.
“Thank you, Mark.” I smile wrapping my arms around him, burying my head into his chest overcome by emotion.
“It’s ok. Come on, we’ve got a flight to catch. Do you have everything?”
“Yeah, Danny helped me get everything this morning. I’m glad to be going home...” I sigh as we walk together back into the bus
“Yeah, me too.”
++++++
**GLEN’S POV**
I don’t really know what to say except this self detox thing isn’t going as planned.
Every moment of this flight I’ve thought about calling the hostess over for a drink. I could kill for a whisky but she’ll hate me for it, like she doesn’t hate me already. I don’t remember much of that day she came looking for me, all I can remember is her hugging me, her arms round my back willing me to stay.
That’s changed somehow in the last few days; she can’t speak to me, we’ve gone as far as not looking at each other. I don’t know what that’s meant to achieve. She’s not the one having to go into rehab, she’s not the one who’s disappointed fans and her own family.
I’m a drunk disappointment to everyone around me, the person I love won’t love me, or look at me, my band mates dislike me but not as much as I hate myself. Despite them hating me they’re spouting shit like;
“It’s going to be ok, you’ll get through rehab with our help”
But they’re not the ones who’re laying in bed at 2am crying like a girl because they’ve got no idea who they’ve become, fighting the urge to down a bottle of jack to forget that the person they love can’t look at them. They’re not standing in the shower three hours later trying to forget;
“You’re going to be ok”
Yeah right.
“Come on Glen. We’re here...”
Another sour face and an annoyed tone of voice tells me to move so I willingly follow as robotically as I can, it looks like drink’s the only thing that can put some life in me these days.
Well, there’s another thing. The only thing I’m fighting for; Evie. But all the odds really are stacked against me so why bother.
--
A few hours later we’ve all parted ways Danny’s off to his Ma’s, Mark and Evie are off to move her into her flat. I didn’t get a goodbye, I wasn’t expecting one. I was stupid to think she’d ever want to talk to me again after what I said to her that day on the bus before all this happened.
I don’t recognise myself as I look in the grimy bathroom mirror, of this cold lonely flat full of memories of happier times; Evie and I eating breakfast together at the table, her legs swinging off the counter in the mornings sitting there drinking her tea, dressed in my shirt. I’d like to think that’ll happen again, but it won’t she wants to be alone now and who can blame her, I just need to except it and I guess rehab’s the perfect place.
However long it takes I’ll beat this. I’ll do it for her because that’s the only thing I’m fighting for, her approval, acceptance and friendship if nothing else.
Sorry it's a short chapter, it just came to a natural ending. Not sure why I put Glen's POV in there but I thought It'd be nice to write things from his side. Hope you liked it. Let me know what you thought!! Comment + Vote - xo
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Fire and Fury - Book 2 COMPLETE.
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