Gonna Be the Death of Me (adopted by Brendon Urie)

//ten - took off out the window//

a/n: this next chapter is in different point of views to do justice to the plot line, hopefully it won't get confusing

Song of the Chapter: Who's Gonna Carry You Home by Elder Brother

Eva's POV

My sleep was limited and the dreams I had, even though I can't remember them, terrified me. The only thing I remember from them is the breaking of that wooden bridge. I refused to let myself sleep and I refused to go talk to Dad or Mom. They didn't need more stress, especially after yesterday. So, instead of sleeping, I fell into a trance of thought. Guilt was still clouding my mind as I heard the front door creak open and shut. Voices followed the slam and I knew them immediately. 

"Ty! Josh!" I screamed as I sprinted from my bed and down the stairs, only to jump into both of their arms. "I missed you so much," I whispered to them as they squeezed back. After putting me down, Tyler took me by the arm gently and pulled me to the side. I looked over at Josh who had wandered into the kitchen and was talking with Brendon and Sarah. My attention was brought back to the skinny man in front of me as he cleared his throat. 

"Eva, I was so scared. Are you sure you're okay?" The guilt covered up my mind again and I felt fear bubble up in my stomach. I wasn't okay, but I wasn't going to ruin another day. "I'm sorry I scared any of you. I'm perfectly fine, great even." I didn't bother to fake a smile because Tyler would have seen straight through it anyway. Before he could answer, I hugged him one more time before walking to Josh and hugging him tightly. Without another word, I walked up the stairs and into my bedroom. The world was all against me, and it was all my fault. 

I found myself strumming my acoustic only minutes later, stopping when a knock came through my door. "Come in," I beckoned, staring out the window. Through the corner of my eye I saw a tall man, black hair swooped up. "Hey, Dad." The strumming continued. 

"Hey, sweetie. How are you feeling?" I wanted to stop lying about it, but nothing else in my body seemed to agree. "I'm great, just tired." He nodded and we both knew it was just a sham. The silence broke soon after. "Well, your appointment is soon. The guys can take you if you want." I nodded and stood up. I threw shoes on my feet and took my phone in my hand before walking back downstairs with Brendon. Tyler and Josh waited at the door. 

"You ready?" Josh asked smiling. I grinned back and nodded. 

The car ride was short and quiet, just like the first time I went to see Dr. Miranda. I walked into the back room and left the two joking boys in the waiting room. 

"So Eva, what exactly are you looking for today?" I thought long and hard about how to phrase my answer. It came out significantly shorter than expected. "I still can't eat when I'm anxious or scared. Everyone's worried." Another thought popped in my head. "Also, new anxiety meds." Dr. Miranda seemed kind of shocked by the blunt reply, but nodded his head anyway and looked through a stack of papers. It's weird to think that everything about you can be complied into a mere stack of dead trees. "Well, I don't think that's severe enough to do programs or inpatient. I recommend a psychologist and keeping food journals. Just write about how you feel before and after every meal and that can give us an idea of what the root of the problem is." I nodded and felt sick to my stomach at the thought of another doctor. But, maybe it'd help. "As for the meds," he continued, "I'll prescribe you a very low dose of Ativan. It'll help stabilize everything a bit, but still give you control." Was I even capable of being in control? Soon enough, the prescription was scribbled and a doctor was recommended. I walked back out to the boys and saw them push each other lightly during what was most likely a meaningless conversation. 

"Taco Bell is not that bad of a thing to be known for," Tyler said as I walked up and he blushed. "How'd it go?" Josh asked, giggling a bit and wrapping his arm over my shoulder as we walked to the car. "Fine, I need new meds and a psychologist." To my complete surprise, they didn't look at me weird or with pity, they just nodded and drove to the pharmacy.