Memories (A Supernatural Fanfiction)

How Dare You

Lia's POV

Have you ever been attacked by your own mind? Like you just hear a word, and memories come rushing back? I have, and let me tell you it sucks.

It has been months since we got to Bobby's and everyday little things come back to me, like my first hunt and the first time I lost control of my inner demon, Behlalonia.

We were in a small town in Alabama,  chasing a demon, I was 10 years old and had been begging Jeff for months to let me help him in his hunts. He told me it was too dangerous for me, but I was convinced I was Supergirl, and I could help save the world. He finally cracked to my demands, but he let me know that this was a one time thing and that I had to stay by his side, and listen to everything he said. Unfortunately our first crack at the demon ended in a girl my age dying, and me falling three stories when the floor beneath me collapsed. I broke my left leg, and sprained my left wrist. So, instead of showing off my superhero skills, I was left alone in the motel room while Jeff hunted the bastard alone. It was only nine o'clock at night, and I didn't feel tired so I was watching television and sitting on the bed. There was a knock at the door, our knock, the one Jeff had invented so I knew it was him and nobody else. I was excited that he was home early, that meant we would have ice cream, and I knew he would be safely asleep next to me for the night. However, when I opened the door, it wasn't Jeff, it was a teenaged boy with blonde hair and brown eyes that flickered black when he made eye contact with me. I remember screaming, a bloodcurdling scream as he slammed me against the wall with his telekinesis powers, a force so strong I lost my locket. That's when she made her first appearance to me. Behlalonia. She looked just like me, but her eyes were blood red. She scared me until she attacked the demon who had came after me. 

"Don't harm her, she isn't who your master wants, she is an innocent." Behlalonia shrieks at the boy. 

"Shut up Behlalonia, just give her up, rule Hell with your father."

She laughs, it is a cold laugh, sending chills up my spine. "Father will never rule Hell. He is weak, and pathetic, if he thinks killing her gives him me." She looks back at me, and must see the fear in my eyes. "I apologize for this Lia."  My world goes black, and the last thing I remember is her eyes, red as they are, they look kind.

I woke up some time later, to a fire alarm blaring in my ears, all around me was fire, but my locket lay beside me, I grab it before running outside. 

Jeff came back to the motel to find it in ashes with only a few structures left. I was the only survivor that night, and I owe that to Behlalonia. 

I knew I couldn't be cynical all the time, I was lucky, I had managed to live this long, minus my 70 years in hell. I had Dean, Sam, Cas, Bobby, and Jeff by my side. Even if I couldn't remember everything about our relationships. I just wish I could know everything, I wanted all of my memories back, but Cas has explained to me the process in which someone had to sacrifice their own memories, and even their life just so I could remember being a little kid all the way up to my wedding day to one Dean Winchester.

If only we could have gotten married that day, had I not been dragged to hell, none of this would have happened. We could have been happy, but know he is just the shell of the man I once knew. I loved him still, but there was something off, something not like the last time we were together.

Even now, with him snoring lightly beside me, it feels wrong, I feel dirty. Like this isn't meant to happen. So, acting on these thoughts, I quietly slip out of our bed, and walk out to the living room. It is the wee hours of the morning, so nobody stirs as the boards squeak beneath my feet. Nobody comes running after me as I exit out the front door.