The Grim (Ravens #3)

xx. the voice of reason

The morning's encounter had left the group in a confused daze, where nobody could fully formulate the proper words to fill the fog, nor figure out what their next move should be. Even Skylar and Levi—the newcomers to this wild little circle—were left shell-shocked. They'd heard enough legends so that when Sebastian had uttered his sister's name in disbelief, they knew just who they were dealing with.

Maybe they knew better who they were dealing with, Skylar thought. She had never seen Sebastian so distraught, so ungrounded. Even during that grim afternoon where he'd broken the news of his brother's sickness, he was blessed with some degree of poise. Now, he was so torn, ripped apart at every single level. Their mission had grown from simply retrieving a sample and recipe of a cure. Now there was more at risk, more that they would lose no matter which direction they turned.

For the most part, Skylar was just as confused as the others, but this Emma was not the girl she had been described to be. Donny was always raving about her, how she was so strong, how she was on fire, how she could practically command earth itself. That wasn't the girl in the black hoodie shrouded by the shadows of the alleyway. That girl, Skylar understood, was dangerous. The others saw their friends, but Skylar saw the king's assassin. The others saw a hero, but to her she was as dark as her alias implied.

But Skylar was not the only outsider. She was not the only skeptic of the legends. For most of the day, Jayden Muñoz was silent, gritting his teeth and biting his tongue to hold himself back from objecting to every word the others said. It wasn't until the evening, when he and Mai returned to their own neighborhood, that he was able to speak his mind.

"Are we just not going to mention the elephant in the room?" he asked as he walked her up the stairs to her front door. His bitter undertones were undeniable. Mai had seen him getting increasingly irritated all day, but her own mind had been elsewhere. By the time they reached their block, he was glaring at everything, every sentence he spoke was hard and angry.

"We can trust her, Jay," said Mai assuringly. She smiled softly and placed her hand lightly on his left forearm. "I know it sounds crazy, but she's not our biggest threat."

"She's a killer," hissed her friend. At his last word, Mai stiffened, and her eyes darted around the empty street to make sure no wandering ears had overheard. She unlocked the front door quickly and pulled Jayden inside with her, securing privacy before she spoke again.

"She's Sebastian's sister," Mai said, the moment the door had shut behind them. "She's not going to hurt him."

"What do you think happens when she finds out the antidote is for their older brother?" challenged Jayden, his voice low and seething. "Adam, right? What happens when she finds out her brother will die if they don't get the cure? Only five things are leaving this city, and do you really think she'd let her brother die so that someone she doesn't even know, like Skylar or Levi, can live?"

Mai shook her head, "No, no, she wouldn't do that. It would crush Seb, and she sees that. She wouldn't kill Skylar. She'll figure something out."

"I'm sorry, but it really doesn't strike me that she's trying to find a solution," said the boy, beginning to the pace the room in his anger. Mai hated when he paced. It was Sebastian's nervous habit. Her goal was to place Jayden and her ex in separate circles so that her memories would never overlap. What a joke. Now their stories all were intertwined.

"You don't know her," muttered Mai. Her voice was falling now, its volume decreasing by the moment, for she understood his argument. He was wrong about the Emma she remembered, but had matched the girl they'd met in the alley. But still, Mai refused to believe the great Emma Gail Harlem would have fallen to a level where she would take the life of one of her own.

"You realize how ridiculous this all sounds, right?" asked Jayden. "She is the king's assassin. She's Lady Darkness, for God's sake. She's killed at least eight people in the past three months alone. You really think I should just be able to trust her?"

"I know," said Mai, dejectedly taking a seat on one of the metal kitchen chairs. Her elbows dug into her knees, and her forehead found its place in her palms. "I don't like Emma. I never did. She's prideful, reckless, stubborn. Too much like me, really. But she was selfless. She was always screwing herself over time after time in order to protect the people she cared about. I just—I don't understand how she's here. She'd have figured out a way out of here by now, I know her. She can't sit still and let someone else have power over her."

Jayden had stopped moving around the room, but instead had pulled a chair up across from her, resting his hand supportively on her kneecap. "I know that I know nothing, but she's a mystery right now. We all need to understand that."

"I don't know what she's protecting here," Mai whispered. It was this, this revelation that made the whole journey ahead of them far more dangerous. Emma would always choose a cause, choose someone to fight for. But Mai understood now that this girl was being pulled in two directions, and should she help one, she would destroy the other. Perhaps Jayden was right. Perhaps her loyalty was not as guaranteed as they had all assumed.

It was Sebastian that forced her into the Fortress only to be exiled. Had Emma found someone else, built a new family within Monarchia's walls, why would she choose the kids who had indirectly sent her to this hellhole? Why should they assume her forgiveness?

"Have you turned the forms in yet?" asked Jayden, changing the subject as he could see his friend's distress.

"What?"

"The forms to move cities."

"What are you talking about?"

He sighed, "You're still in love with him, Mai. You can try to hide it, but I'm not stupid. You need him."

She shook her head, "I'm not going back with him. I left. He doesn't need me."

"You've had the forms forever," said her friend. "They're on your bedside table so you fall asleep facing them. You should go."

"Sebastian moved on, alright? Who do you think Skylar is?"

"His lesbian replacement for you? Mai, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but we both know there's no reason for you to stay here," Jayden said.

"You're here."

He looked away, cast his eyes towards the ground so that he could avoid eye contact. "I was alright before you came here," he said. "I'll be alright again."

Mai did not respond, and Jayden did not make another move to carry on the conversation. With a short yet compassionate hug goodbye, Jayden left the townhome and crossed the street to his own family's place with an identical blueprint, identical floor plan, yet told such a different story. They met up again the following morning, but Mai was already dressed and awake, having come home from a quick walk to the mailbox, where her forms were now to be reviewed.