Spilt Coffee: A Benedict Cumberbatch Love Story

Fourteen

        100 days had past. 100 days without his touch, his kiss, his eyes, his lips, his embrace, 100 days without Ben. I tried to move on, I tried several times to forget about him but the letter sits there and is a constant reminder of him.

        It had been 5 months since I had been away from London and 3 months since that haunting letter was sent to me. It's not like I acted like a depressed wreck, no I was strong and I put on a smile for everyone. I told everyone I was over him, but I wasn't I missed him so much.

        I would wake up in the middle of the night to see if he was next to me, but he would never be. He was a thousand miles away and it was all my fault. I just have to push everyone I love away and run away from my problems.

        I sat there in my room looking out the window onto the Bosnian sky, it was a warm day. There was a slight breeze so I opened up the windows and just sat there and read my books all day. It was about noon when my roommate knocked on my door, "Hey Norah we're going out right now...do you need anything?" She asked.

        "No thanks Bridget, I'll be ok."

        "Well do you want to come with us, we're headed to this really nice m-"

        I cut her off, "No really I'm fine, thank you though." I gave her a slight smile and she said goodbye and left closing the door behind her. After several moments of sitting in silence, I got up and walked over to my record player I put in a Bon Iver vinyl and let the music play. I just sat there and listening when there was another knock on my door, "Bridget I really don't want to go," I said playfully.

        "Go where?" A deep soothing voice said from behind me.

        "You wasted your time coming out here." I turned around and looked at him. His hair was slicked back, he was wearing a tight v-neck that showed off his arms. He looked even more beautiful than before, but I told myself I was over him, so it must stay that way. "I missed you." He told me while walking towards the window. I backed up with each step he took closer to me.

        "Well I'm busy so if you don't mind." I looked at him coldly and he said "Norah, I just wanted to see you. You know see how you are doing."

        "I'm doing fine, now leave I'm trying to read." He didn't listen, like always, and sat on the windowsill next to me. "What if I just sit here very quiet? I don't make a sound, just sit here." Very slowly I moved my feet and let him sit down. After a while, I felt him staring at me. "Benedict you can't do that anymore."

        "I see you kept the letter." There was a silence. "Don't flatter yourself, I just got the letter yesterday." I was hoping he would believe me. "What do you think about?" Benedict had a bit of hope in his eyes. "Benedict, if you think I'm going to come back to you, you have it all wrong. Our relationship is over." He put his head down, "Norie, I-"

        "Benedict, call me Norah, it'll make the process much easier."

        "Why are you acting like such a bitch?" I dropped my book, "What do you just say?" Benedict looked apologetic "Norah I didn't mean it, it's just I came here to catch up and see how you were doing-" I felt flustered "Benedict, you came here with every intention for us to get back together, that's the whole reason. But I'm here to tell you it's not going to happen. I'm not going to sit here and," I started to cry and continue struggling to talk to him "let you walk back in my life pretending to be some innocent man who did nothing, you're the one who fuck this up, you are the one."

        "Norah stop, I know I did mess up, I admit that but I'm not the only one," he started to raise his voice," I messed up big time, but you Norah you keep running away!!" I was silent , he was right and I needed to come clean. "I know I have been running, but that's what I do, I'm scared that things will get so much more worse," I took a breath, "I'm afraid things would get so bad id never see you again, or hear your voice but I've only punished myself, you deserve better than me."