Oh Sophia...

Chapter 1

I can't sleep. It's one of those nights where my mind is racing again. I haven't been sleeping for days. Sleep is a rare luxury around here. Nurse Olivia is on call tonight, she's my favourite. She's the one that gave me the idea to start writing.

I can hear the murmured voices of Nurse Olivia and some one else, Angela I think. Usually, around this time I'd be kept awake by Jack's snoring, but he was discharged yesterday. I miss him. He always kept a light mood in the darkest of situations. It seems like everyone around here is leaving. Except me. I feel like I'm going to be here forever.

I don't even remember why I'm really here. It all seems like a huge blur. I remember the 'incident', but what follows is a mystery. Nurse Olivia says I'm in here for violence and unstable behavior. I don't even know what 'unstable behavior' means. I guess I must have done something pretty bad though, my friends hardly talk to me anymore. They send me emails sometimes, but not a lot. My parents come over every weekend, but it isn't the same as before. Mum looks like a ghost she's so pale. She smiles a lot, but I can tell it's fake by the sadness in her eyes. Usually she just tells me about Ivy, my corgi, and what mischief she's been up to. Then at night she hugs me to sleep. It's probably the only time of the week I do sleep. Dad's a bit different. He hardly looks me in the eye. He's pale, like mum, and he's sad too. I think he's disappointed if anything. Before Zach, I was just his little girl- his sweetheart. A lot changed when Zach asked me out, more than I wish.

When I first heard news that he was planning to ask me out I felt immense excitement mixed with nausea. Sherry came rushing to me at lunch break squealing and jumping up and down. "Sophia you won't believe it! Katie from my netball team said that Zach was going to ask you out to Roy's party this weekend!" She shouted, shaking my shoulders. I think I went red, because my face felt very hot. "What? He hardly talks to me though," I wondered out loud. "You're going," she stated like a fact. "He hasn't even asked me, he's told everyone but me," I said. "Oh please, he'll ask you, and you're going to my house this afternoon to prepare for the party." I was beaming, and blushing. I'd never been asked out, I'd never really talked to guys much.

That afternoon after physics, he took me aside. "You're really pretty you know," he flattered. My whole face went red, all I could do was mumble; "thank you." He was so confident, and I felt like jelly on the floor; no backbone. "Roy's throwing a party this weekend, you may have heard. You should come," He said. "I'll be driving a bunch of people, I can even take you and your friend Sherry." I was short for words, all I managed to squeak out was "Yes, I'd love to, thanks." I'm pretty sure when he said goodbye I was dumbly smiling into space. I walked all the way to the bus stop not focusing or thinking at all.

Skylar woke me up at the bus stop. "What's going on?" She asked, half laughing. I looked at her still dumbly smiling, "I just got asked out by Zachery File." She beamed, "That's great! Where are you guys going?". "Roy's party this weekend," I explained. She rolled her eyes. "You mean the parties only the 'populars' are invited to?", she groaned. "Yep," I replied, raising my eyebrows. "I didn't really think about it that way," I admitted. Skylar looked to the road, her strawberry blond long curly hair blew beautifully with the wind, and her greenish blue eyes reflected the soft sun. Skylar is actually quite beautiful, a lot prettier than me, that's for sure. She never really got on with many people though, she'd had bad experiences. "You alright?" I asked. I don't know why I asked that, it's such a useless question. "Oh I'm fine," She said smiling back at me. I believed her.

Sherry came to the bus stop a bit later and we obsessed over the party and what we were going to wear, and how we'd do our hair, and I stressed to her about Zach. Sherry was use to all this party stuff, she'd been invited to many parties. She was as much a part of the popular group as our little sitting group with Skylar, Addison, Zoe and me. When I got to Sherry's house we made cookies, obsessed more about the party and then I went home to do homework. My next task was to ask my parents if I could go. God was I scared.