Nothing Left To Fear (Book 1 of 2)

Trying To Talk To Her

Nathan’s POV:

“Call me so we can talk.” Why the hell did I say that? I’ve got to be the worst when it comes to girls. Ugh, I really hope she calls. I really wanna talk to her about the kiss. I know that I felt something, but did she? What if she didn’t like the kiss? Will things be awkward? Will she ever talk to me? I just need to relax and see what happens. I decided to go to the kitchen and make a cuppa tea. The tea wasn’t really helping because all I could think about was that kiss. “Hey Nath, what ya doin’? Siva asked. “Nothing, just making some tea.” I said. “What’s wrong?” Siva questioned. “Why would you think something’s wrong?” I stuttered. “Besides the fact that you just stuttered that last question, nobody drinks tea at two in the morning unless something’s up. So tell me.” “I’ve been thinking about the kiss me and…” I hesitated. “Brianna. I think I may have feelings for her.”

After I said that, me and Seev just sat there for a couple minutes until someone broke the silence. “Then tell her you little git.” Jay said as me and Seev turned around. “How long have you been standing there?” Siva asked. “Once you sat down Seev.” Jay smiled. I wasn’t sure whether or not I should tell her. What if she just wanted to be friends? Or what if it was a mistake? I feel so guilty now. “Nath, what are you gonna do?” Jay asked while he and Siva stared at me. “I’m gonna call her and tell her. Do you guys think it’s for the best?” They both nodded so I headed up to my room to grab my phone. I walked back downstairs to the kitchen and then called her. She didn’t answer so I thought maybe she wasn’t home yet, so I called the house and Jill answered.

Me: “Hey Jill.”

Jill: “Hey Nathan, what’s up?”

Me: “I was just wondering if Brianna was there.”

Jill: “Yeah, we just got home but she ran straight upstairs.”

Me: “You think I could talk to her?” There was silence while Jill went to get her.

Jill: “Oh, Nath she’s sleep.” I thought it was so cute that she went to sleep once she got in. I wasn’t sure what else to say so I said,

Me: “Oh, um can you make sure she calls me when she wakes up?” There was a little silence before she whispered,

Jill: “Yeah, I’ll make sure she calls you when she wakes up, ok?”

I nodded as though she could see me and then replied with, “Thanks Jill.”

Then she hung up and I sat there looking disappointed. “So…?” Siva and Jay asked. “She’s sleep.” I said with an upset tone. “Don’t worry Nath; she’ll call you when she wakes. We should get to bed though, we do have to fly home tomorrow.” Jay said with enthusiasm. Seev and I nodded and walked upstairs to our rooms. Once I laid down, I began to doze off. Maybe sleep was the best way to calm down. I’m just overthinking this whole thing. And with that last thought, I fell asleep.

6:00am the Next Morning:

I woke up in a cold sweat but I didn’t remember much about my dream besides seeing Brianna. Something bad must have happened because the next thing I know, the guys ran into my room. “What’s goin’ on Nath?” Max yelled slightly scared. “What are you talkin’ about?” I asked extremely confused. “Are ya serious Nath?” Tom said. “Yeah.” I replied, still confused. “Nath, you were screaming.” Tom said softly. I sat there not sure why I would be screaming but then I thought back to my dream

Me and Brianna met up at the cafe so that we could talk about the kiss. I arrive a couple minutes early and ordered a muffin. I sat down and started to think about the kiss and how great it was. Then Brianna walked in. She looked so beautiful even though she was just wearing sweats and a white tee. She immediately saw me and came over to sit down. I asked her if she wanted anything but she said she didn't. For some reason, she seemed distant but I shrugged it off when she started talking. She was talking about the kiss and how she didn't expect it to feel the way it did. I smiled at that until she continued. She started saying that the kiss made her want to throw up and how it was the worst kiss she's ever had. Honestly, her saying that was destroying me. She kept going saying that we would never be together because she can do so much better than me. I started to tear up because she was being so blunt, while disregarding my feelings. Once she was done, I opened my mouth to say something but she slowly started to fade away. I started to panic because she was slipping out of my sight and I didn't wanna lose her. Suddenly, she was gone and I started having an asthma attack. Suddenly, I woke up.

That was the WORST NIGHTMARE EVER because it ripped my heart out, lit it on fire, and then crushed it. I guess my facial expression changed because the guys looked confused and scared. “Nightmare about Bri, huh?” Jay asked. I was taken aback by how he knew what I was thinking. I couldn’t speak so I just nodded. “Alright. If that’s the case, call her until she answers and if she doesn’t, you can text her.” Max said. “What if she doesn’t answer or text back?” I asked nervously. “Then leave a couple voicemails. She’s bound to come across those.” Siva said. “I’ll try it but what if-” I was cut off by Jay saying, “Then we’ll drive over to her house before our flights. Now get calling so you can tell her how you feel.” I smiled and as soon as they left, I started calling her. After twelve calls, I sent an eight-page text explaining how the kiss made me feel. I know that I seem like less of a man, but it takes a real man to express how he's really feeling. After a few minutes and no response, I was starting to think that she was avoiding me so the next eight calls came with voicemails.

I’ve never felt like this about a girl but she needed to know that she wasn’t just one of our tour dancers. I took quite a while trying to text out what she meant to me, which ended up be twelve pages, because I was struggling to express how I felt. I had to make sure that she knew that I wanted to be with her and that no other girl mattered since I met her. I kept calling but only four more went through before the rest went straight to voicemail. I really began to panic because the girl of my dreams was ignoring me. Then there was a knock on the door and the guys came in. I could what they wanted to know but I wasn’t sure how to word it, so I just said, “Nothing.” They all looked upset until Tom stepped up and said, “Let’s go then! We’re gonna go get ready and then head to her hose.” I was happy that the guys realized how special she was to me.

8:30 that morning:

“NATHAN! LET’S GO!” Tom yelled. “Coming.” And with that, we all packed our stuff into the van and headed to her house. “Just a heads up Nath, we’ve been calling her house for the past hour.” Tom said with a smirk. “It’s good to know you guys care.” I said with a smile. We’re here. What am I gonna say? What if she has the girls talk for her? What if she’s not home? The guys kept staring so I got outta the car, walked up to her door, and knocked. There wasn’t any noise so I assumed none of them were awake. I was so wrong because then the door opened and all the girls stood at the door, except Brianna.

The girls looked confused by my presence, so I began with, “Hey. Is Brianna here?” Smooth Nathan, smooth. “No. Sorry Nath, she’s been out since eight and none of us know where she went.” Jill said. “Do you want to wait for her?” Chloe asked. “No, I can’t. I have a ten o’clock flight to Gloucester. Can you just tell her that I’m going back home for the next two weeks?” I asked. “Yeah, anything else?” Becca asked. “Yeah, can you tell her to call me when you see her?” “Yeah!” they all said with suspicion. I didn’t want things to be anymore awkward so I said goodbye and headed for the van.

“So…?” They all asked curiously. “She’s not home.” I said with a disappointed tone. “Well it’s only two weeks away from her and it’ll fly.” Max said sympathetically. “I guess you’re right Max.” after that, the ride to the airport was quiet. None of us seemed to be in a talking mood after the emotional morning we just had. Once we got to the airport, we were greeted by about thirty fans because it was early. I had to fake a smile for the next ten or so minutes and that was the hardest part. After talking to the fans, we did baggage check and headed for our planes. I really didn’t wanna talk to anybody, so I got to my seat, turned on my music, and fell asleep looking out the window. This was gonna be the longest two weeks ever.