Have Faith ((Niall Horan-AU)) (Editing)

Chapter 18.

My best friend of 17 years just told me he loves me more than I know and kissed me. 

Little did he know I've loved him more than I could tell him for months now.

I was in love with my best friend.

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I really was in love with my best friend, I guess that's why it hurt even more when we were "seperated" for two days. Not only was he my best friend, which made me love him already but I had developed feelings for my only friend. I didn't know what to think of it when my mind started throwing these ideas of love for my best friend at me.

I didn't want to believe it at first, a girl falling for her best friend typically doesn't end well. I love Niall too much as my friend to even think about us being together, although it's become a more common thing to do now. When I sit alone my mind wanders to that what if's. What if Niall asks me out? What if we do become more than friends? What if we get married and have kids?

Then my mind wanders to the buts. But what if we do get together? But what if it ends horribly? But what if I lose my best and only friend? What happens then? These past few months have been nothing but those questions in and out of my head. A tug-o-war between my heart and my mind. A fight for love or friendship.

As of this moment in time, I wanted to keep Niall and I's friendship simply as that, friends. I didn't want to tell him I loved him back, it wold only ruin our friendship, although he ruined that by kissing me just a few seconds ago. Oh shit, the kiss. Niall. He's still standing in front of me.

"Earth to Kylie?" I was snapped out of my own mind when a hand flew in front of my face, knocking me back into reality.

"Oh, sorry..." My cheeks flushed red and I immediately felt the temperature rise. "Did you just kiss me or did I just imagine that? Oh wait no I'm sorry I didn't say that, you would never kiss-"

"I did."

My eyes widened when the truth hit me again. "You did kiss me? You kissed me. Oh my god."

"Oh my god what? Was it bad? Did I make you uncomfortable? Oh my god." We were both pacing back and forth, just for different reasons.

"No, it was fine, it was really good actually." I mentally face palmed and bit my lip when Niall's eyes lit up, Dammit Kylie just shut up, "I mean, it wasn't bad, it was fine. But why?"

"I told you why." I stopped pacing when his hand caught mine and he squeezed gently. "I love you."

"I love you too." I stated simply.

"No, Ky, I love you more than a friend, more than a best friend. I love you."

Me too. I wanted so badly to say but I couldn't, just not now. Instead, I just stared at him intently, trying to think of the next question to ask. "Why? How long? What happens now?" I came up with three.

"Why what? Why do I love you? Kylie don't you see? You are such an incredible, beautiful, smart, perfect girl that I've spent almost my entire life with. We've grown up together, not just literally but mentally. We've been through so much, good and bad. I've hurt you and you've hurt me, not intentionally I just like to make an ass of myself in both cases. But that's not the point. As for how long, a while now, I've known for sure for almost a year. I fought a war with my mind for a few months before that. A part of me said I shouldn't be in love with my best friend but my other half told me, 'What the hell, you love her!'. I went back and forth for months trying to figure out if I really loved you or not, if I even could love you or not! Kylie I love you." Both of my hands were now in his as he spoke into my eyes, as if trying to speak to my heart and mind.