Torn

the intuition pt. 1

"Stiles?" A soft voice asked from the other side of his bedroom door. Stiles sat up from his bed, and he put the notepad that he was writing on, on his nightstand.

He opened the door, "Lydia? What are you doing here?"

"Scott has been a walking poster-boy for sadness." Lydia said, Stiles wasn't sure if she was trying to be funny or not, but either way he didn't say anything.

"Do you wanna come in?" Stiles asked gesturing towards his room.

"Sure, oh and I can also tell when someone is dying." Lydia said.

"What?"

"It's another gift of my banshee powers. Scott didn't tell me, but it didn't take long for me to put two and two together. And I am one of, if not the smartest girl in school."

"So, then you know about..." Stiles trailed off, hoping he wouldn't have to say it; hoping that Lydia would understand what he meant.

"Yes." She replied, sorrow and sadness filling her eyes.

"But how did Scott find out?" Lydia asked, trying not to push or nag Stiles, but she just wanted to know.

"Derek told him." Stiles said, Lydia could almost feel the shame attached to his words. Each and every word.

"Do you know why Derek attacked him?" Stiles asked.

"Scott said something about Derek finding something out about you, and Derek confronted Scott about it. Scott obviously didn't believe him. So Scott attacked him, and Derek fought back. That's pretty much all I got."

During this conversation, Stiles barely maintained eye contact with Lydia for more than 5 seconds.

Lydia was sitting on his bed, and he was sitting in his chair at his desk, facing her. She started to notice how much he was fidgeting and how he couldn't stay still.

"Stiles, have you had your Adderall yet?"

"Why?"

"Because I can see how much you are fidgeting and you can't sit still. I've been around you long enough to notice when you haven't had your Adderall."

"I'll go take it now."

"Okay."

Stiles walked out of the room and was gone for a few minutes, leaving Lydia there, not really sure of what to do. She scanned the room, remembering the massive 'murder board' Stiles had put all over his walls. She stood up, and turned towards the bed, she remembered all the red string being pulled from the walls to his bed, connected to scissors he had stabbed into his bed. She went through a mental timeline, remembering when she tried to save him. But she didn't save him, and she feels that pain everyday. If her banshee powers had've worked, she could've saved Allison, her best friend, no, her sister. If Lydia hadn't been so careless, she could've escaped the Nogitsune, and Allison wouldn't have died.
Everyone says that it isn't anyone's fault -that it isn't her fault- that Allison died, Stiles says its his fault, but its not, its her fault, and Lydia knows that.

Stiles comes back into his room, only to see Lydia sitting on the floor, in the middle of the room, violently shivering in tears.

"Lydia?" He sits down next to her and hugs her. She hugs back, crying into his chest. She seems to find great comfort out of it. It doesn't just help her, it helps him too.

They stay there for a while, both tangled in an embrace with each other.

"Lydia, its not your fault." Stiles says trying to calm her down.

"How'd you know that I was...?" Lydia trailed off; still in tears.

"I've had a crush on you since third grade, I know you too well, Lydia." A warm smile comes over his face, the first true smile he has had since the Nogitsune, and Allison & Aiden's death.

"Stiles?" Lydia cupped his face and made sure he was looking at her.

"What?"

"Are you okay? Honestly."

"Yeah, I think I am. Why?"

"I just wanted to make sure." Lydia smiled. After all this, Lydia still managed to have kept her amazing soft smile.

"Yeah I think I am." Stiles smiled back at her.

For that moment the two of them were happy. Stiles was happy, he wasn't faking it like he had been since everything had happened. Lydia to, was happy. They were both truly happy.

Just before she left, Lydia saw the notepad Stiles had sitting on the nightstand. It was a list:

Tell Lydia. Just tell her. Be honest
Tell Dad.

"Tell me?" She looked at Stiles, confused, "Tell me what?"

"Everything. But you had already figured it out. I just need to tell Dad now."

****

When Lydia left, she was still upset, but she wasn't crying, but you could still tell that she had been crying. Stiles watched as she left the room.

Without looking back she said, "I think I might be in love with you Stiles." She didn't have to turn around to see Stiles' face light up with happiness. True happiness. She knew he was happy.

Lydia was about to leave when Stiles heard his father say, "Lydia? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I think so." Lydia replied.

****

Stiles was sitting on his bed when his father walked in.

"Stiles? Is everything okay? In the past two weeks, two people have left both in tears. So what's going on?"

Stiles looked up to his father, he wasn't sure what to say. Most of all he didn't know how to explain it.