The Family

the beginning

I sat at our old house, empty. The dirty kitchen opens as the smell of old cements being washed, and the water continuously runs over flowing the drum, the hall which separates the kitchen to the living room where the dogs fur flies everywhere as soon as air sways over. Our living room which became our dinning table because our kitchen has no chair only a table where my cat sits comfortably. The table on the living room with a plastic made tainted with greenish color that made it look good is full of  different stuffs. The two hot thermos stands firm at the edge, bottles and glass of container spreads all corners and the pans is put inside our rice container to prevent rats or cockroaches pollute our vian. Moms papers also adds to the mess, papers all lays that consumed all the space. I glance over the computer where my brother used to sit and plays online whole night or even whole day. The computer which sometimes becomes the  reasons of endless arguments in the house.  I stood and went over my brothers room, his bed is a mess,his clothes hangs every corner of the room, and the piles of sacks line behind the door full of stocked clothes that are all unfit or unused to all of us. I open the second room which is literally the stock room but mom separated our stocks to my uncles, pile of wood lines as the smell of branis evelops the room.Uncles books and things that are rarely seen spreads all over the table. Mom told us not to touch anything not even his book. Because my uncle is a pastor and has a nasty temper. Sometimes at night we could hear the rats sqealing inside the room, plastics and papers could be heard being torn apart by the rats. I entered the last room where it is even more suffocating, it is where me and my sister angela sleeps, different beds but same room. it has two closet, it has all our clothes including my brother, that sometimes he would come in without knocking and ends up peeking, whatever could be seen. Under our beds are boxes full of documents, and stuffs which All belongs to mom. Dusts lay openly under, and sometimes I thank God that none of us are unhealthy like easily gets sick. The room becomes more suffocating when my two sister comes home, every vacation break.
I sat back on the couch which should literally be a couch in a vehicle, sometimes I wonder how I ended there. Every time that thoughts and such cross my mind, I never failed to thank God. Well I know for sure that this is the house that He has provided, ever since mom sold our own house so that she could have money to process her passport going to hongkong to work as overseas worker. I felt angry and sad such feelings of a teenage girl witnessing her house occupied by other people. Though Some of the money was spend for our school fees, well I understand moms decision to sell the house because we are all five siblings, our age gap only marks one year. We all goes to school. Dad has left us with another woman, mom was left alone feeding and taking care us all.
Im 18 years old and I  sat there doing nothing, I stopped going to school because we are all college student plus Saul our eldest went to school again inspite of his age, he asked for last condition to study again and make things right. Saul was like the black sheep in the family, when he was a teenager he went into vices, he first start to smoking, then things goes wrong he started drinking. He easily gave in to the temptations. Now he is 24 years of age and studies the alternative learning system for student whose age does not qualify for college, though he choose it. So here am I, sacrificed my first college year for him because mom can't take it all. She's aging and she just had her job as public teacher whose load money minimizes up to 18,000 a month which still lacks the families financial constraints.  Her job is not stable, shehas to be careful not to terminate herself. Though I'm glad that she could be able to rest from hard labor abroad. Mom had so many debts, our aunts moms siblings is embarrass at her, it felt like they're embarrass to see my mom since she has so many debts. Sometimes i feel ashamed at her doing, But sometime s my sister rebuked me, that in that act of action the will of God still prevails. He would never let His children to suffer. He gives to what is sufficient for my family, He never gives less and excess. Its proficient for the families daily  needs
     

My eyes movement moves rapidly, my brain wants something, not food or rest. My teeth clench each other, I want something i couldn't find. I saw My moms cabinet widely open in the living room, all of the books my mom bought as her references, I've read it all. My uncles books is prohibited to touch, but even if I will not touch it the wood bugs slowly eat its pages. Tomorrow is my first day of class as  Mom promised me to enroll me in college  this year. I looked around to see if I find fancy stuffs to linger my bored state. Nothing. Still my mind thirst for something, I repeatedly calculated the calculus my sister handed me last night for her assignment. The Table of the scientific formulas of chemical are all basic to me. I mean I still wonder how I could picture it out so fast when my sister asks me unconsciously. One thing I'm sure is that mom is quite proud of me when I graduated 1st honor in the entire school. She was the one who wrote my inspirational message for the school and students. I won numerous awards from the contests I've entered in, I the box with my name on it written in pen, I  saw certificates and medals, i won second in a math and science competition because they combined both subject question, first in math calculations, extemporaneous speech, spelling bee and English proficiency debate,  sadly mom cannot post it since the house is not ours.

Two more minutes and one of them has arrived. I could heart first  footsteps from afar, and to my speculation it is mom, and is right as soon as I heard her scold the dogs shooing them away.
You're home. I said taking the bags full of groceries. She Didn't answered back because she's too full muttering and talking with the dogs. Shooing them over and over and kicking them even. She's done she close the door.
I really hate those dogs, its okay to wag their tail but they stands and put dirt on my clothes. 'She said rubbing away the dust on her uniform. I smiled.
Mom what will I cook, its past six already, I'm hungry. I said as I unpack bunch of soap and shampoo from the bag.
its fish, can you do it?. Wait for your sister so that she could help you. She said reluctantly.
No I'll do it, I've done this many times already, beside she's tired from school.' I replied confidently, I mean I've been their cook for almost a year, its already my specialty. I've mastered numerous dishes foreign or local. But of course i. excel on local since most of our food is local.
I took the bag with the fishes, and its ingredients in the kitchen. But mom followed me.
'There's bread, eat some bread first before you cook, the coffee is hot too.' She said as she covered the bag of fishes too prevent the cat to we it.
I sip my first coffee, its too bitter, I could taste the native coffee of Filipinos and the fragrance aroma as it in dwells the house. After minutes of talking to mom I finally settle in. When I was frying the parts Saul is home, he was late probably dated his girlfriend.
'Smells delicious.' He said walking towards the  kitchen. My brother likes to compliment  and on other occasions he would schools you.
'is mom home?'. Asking as he dip his hand to taste the soup.
'Yeah, she came first ahead of you. Guess she'll get mad.' I tease while steering the fish I'm cooking. 'Where were you?.
'Oh we met,
'Your girlfriend?. You meet last week, you met again.
'No, it would be a while since she will be traveling to manila to process her papers.
Mom called him.
I could hear distant voice inside talking the conversation over.

The house is once again revived, the empty  space that covered the house vanished. As we ate, I see my laughing at her own story, Saul In a multi tasking both plays, eats, and listen to moms stories. Angela sits quietly sliding over her phone checking on her social media life. I love my family, even in our current situation, I'm still happy that I could spend my life with them, growing old together. Until that faithful day.