A Wounded Heart / Phan Oneshot

Goodbye, I love you..

Dan gasped a ragged breath as he looked down upon the gushing wound that was just inflicted upon him. The world faded in and out for a moment before he could grasp the reality of the situation. He thought about calling for help but, this is what he wanted wasn't it? As he picked up his phone he looked at the numbers absently and typed in the one he knew so well.

"Hey!" A cheery voice called through the phone.

Dan mustered all the confidence and strength he could to act as though life was fine.

"Hey Phil, I love you, what have you been working on today?" He asked calmly; wincing silently in pain. 

"Just some new articles for my webpage! I came up with this great idea about a ....." Dan let Phil ramble on for a bit about his new ideas and thoughts for the future and just bathed in the sweet and soft sound of his voice as it traveled through the phone line with care. He wished he could hear it in person, to feel the warmth of Phil's body against his own as he would cry into his best-friend and lovers shoulder on long nights where he felt no strength. He yearned for one last feel of the calm and smooth touch of Phil's hands as they strolled down a street together talking about the future they would ultimately never have now. 

As Phil finished his tiny presentation on what he had created he asked Dan what he was doing.

"Oh, just thinking of you, I miss you and I love you Phil."

Phil was silent for a moment as if trying to grasp the words and formulate why Dan would be acting so lovingly in the middle of the day.  

"Remember when we first met? It was October, the 19th if I'm not mistaken... Oh boy was I excited.. Phil trash number one was meeting the number one Phil.." Dan laughed slightly and then let out a small groan of pain.

"Dan.. are you alright?" Phil asked, this was slightly strange behavior for Dan. 

"Yeh, I'm doing okay, it'll be fine soon." Dan stated blandly.

Dan was losing blood quickly and with that his train of thought was foggy and he felt a strange sense of calmness. 

"Dan, I'm worried about you, did you take too much medication this morning?" Phil asked with anxiety building in his stomach.. something was definitely wrong.

"Everyone's 'worried' but do they really care, its all shit if you ask me. Meds didn't do me any good anyways." Dan slurred, "I'm s-sorry Phil, I didn't want to have to do this to you but it was all too much.."

"Dan?" Phil said raising his voice, he knew that hopeless tone in Dans voice too well, "DAN DON'T YOU DARE KILL YOURSELF!! Hang in there and stay on the phone.... Oh God, don't move... please don't leave me."

"Goodbye Phil, I love you.."

As Dan laid his head back on the ground quietly he thought of all the wonderful times he had with Phil. He didn't really need much to live for but Phil, but it was too late now, he knew it was too late. In a few moments he would fade away with all his problems so he just thought of all the good times he had with Phil and it was peaceful. 

He recalled all the times they had laughed together, cried together. He remembered all the nights Phil had stayed up with him helping him fight his demons. No one cared about Dan as much as Phil did. His favorite memory was their first kiss, he knew it usually wasn't too special for most people but with Phil, it was as if he had ascended to heaven, everything was clear and calm for that moment. The crisp rain on dark nights were their favorite to sit together under a blanket and watch anime. Dan felt guilty for leaving Phil alone, he remembered that he was Phils only close friend and that he may have just destroyed the life of the one boy he loved so much and had known for so long. He tried to talk to Phil on the phone one more time, he wanted to tell Phil that he loved him but no words would come out. 

He heard the door open faintly and saw a figure run over to him. They were speaking, yelling in fact but Dan couldn't hear them but he knew who it was. It was Phil. He wanted to speak out, tell him it was okay but all he could do is watch blindly as he saw the older boy grasp the knife lying beside Dan and shakily whisper something to the cold air around him and then forced the knife down into his own gut and knelt down calmly beside Dan grasping his own wound with one arm. With his other hand he grabbed hold of Dans hand and bent over and kissed the only love in his life one last time before falling over and escaping the cold cruel world with him hand in hand. 

"See you soon." He whispered to the boy who laid limp beside him as the world faded to black for both of them.