"Just Friends"

Have you ever heard the phrase "just friends"? I bet you have. And I bet you didn't believe it. Nobody believes it when somebody says that they are just friends. Nobody believes it because they can hear it in their voice. They can see it in their eyes. Even the one claiming that statement doesn't believe the words they say. When my boyfriend at the time told me that his best friend was just a friend, I didn't know if I should believe him or not. I of curse was naive. And I was young. An eighth grader dating a Junior in high school. It didn't matter how mature I was for my age. I was no comparison to her. And the saddest part of all of the was that his friends couldn't even lie for him. They'd try. Even she tried. But you can't hide a smile. You can fake them. You an break them. You can cover them with your hand, but you'll never be able to hide them. Especially when she makes you smile with your eyes.

The first time I noticed something strange was during a car ride home. I wasn't in the car. He was in the car. I called him after school, and he answered the phone hesitantly. Afraid to say anything heartfelt at all. He didn't even tell me that he loved me. He said "you too". I remember the way he answered when I asked what he was doing.

He told me, "A friend is driving me home."

I didn't notice it at that exact second. Until I hear her voice. She sounded annoyed. And he didn't sound to happy to hear from me either. I remember how brief that conversation was and how he barely texted me after that. He didn't tell me when he got home. He never tells me when he's out or not. But I figured that since I asked him to let me know when he got home that he's text me. But he didn't. I spent the rest of that night wondering who this friend could be. Why hasn't he mentioned her before? Why hasn't he introduced us before? Why doesn't he ever tell me about how he gets from place to place but he can't ever come to see me? 

I didn't question him this night. I let it slide. Like nothing happened at all. Because I though that maybe I was over thinking. I stayed silent. Lost. And hurt. I didn't know what to do. I was after all only an eighth grader.

Days without questioning past bye then the days turned into a few weeks and still he never has time for me. And that's when I saw her. They were at the basketball courts at the ymca. I remember him telling me the night before that he wanted to play basketball ball with his friend soon so I stopped in to see him. But what I saw was heartbreaking. He was playing basketball with his friend. A game. "If you can make this shot. You can have whatever you want." His friend smiled and said he wouldn't be able to live that down. And she made her shot. And it went in. And nothing happened. His friend released An adorable giggle. A giggle of pure happiness. A sound that a girl so purely in love with something would make. She stole the ball from him after he picked it off the floor and she started running. I left. I didn't go back to the ymca that day. Or the following. The way he looked at her. It was pathetic. He looked at her the way I would dream he would look at me. He looked at her like a child in a candy factory. But with something far beyond the desire to take and keep anything he wanted. He looked at her like she was sacred. As if she was the purest diamond. The most beautiful flower in the garden. He looked at her as if she was so indescribably delicate that he could do nothing but watch her. He watched her every move. Memorizing it in his memory. He looked at her like she was about to disappear and he never wanted to forget her face. And I could only dream to be her. At that moment. I knew. She wasn't just his friend. I could tell by the way she is around him. They had something. They were something. They are something. So I looked his name up on Facebook and scrolled past our relationship status I searched his pictures. And though his new account had no pictures of their relationship from awhile back. I saw something. A picture of a group of people. And. A comment. From a friend. Something along the lines of "bring this night back". And it was a picture of a group of friends at the bowling alley. He was their. And some other people. And sitting on his lap was her. The girl from the court.
I asked him what her name was. He almost didn't tell me. But he told me. And I looked her up. And I didn't even have to search hard. He was all she cared about. Pictures of him scattered her Facebook. Anniversary memories and paragraphs from the past with a detailed description of how in love she was with him. And her latest post.

"No matter how far a you go. The stars will always be there to guide you home. May the beyond bring an infinite amount of always and forevers in a world with to many ends. But I know. My bestfriend will always stand by my side. No matter how dark of a night it is. No matter how long a day may seem."

At that moment. I knew it. I was no match for her. No matter how hard I would try. No matter how hard he would try. I was not her. And they? They were not just friends.
Today he no where near home. He is far away from her. And yet I still watch her Facebook. Jelous that she the girl who has his heart. Even though his is distant from her he's all she posts about. Posts of him. A picture of him. He account says they're in a relationship. Everything is about him. He profile picture has him in it. And so does her cover photo. And the same goes for his Facebook. She's all over his too. Though he hasn't posted anything since he left. Deleted and blocked I became. Not because we couldn't be civil. But because I was an eight grader. I had no need to stay in his life after our time together. But oh how I wish he's happy. I know he's happy. And I know she will treat him better than anyone including myself ever could. Because she looks at him the same way he looks at her. And I don't think anything can tear them apart. Not time. Not distance. Nothing. Because they are far from just friends.