What Once Was

"Hey crystal!" yelled Jake from across the club, waving for me to come over. I smiled at his slightly drunk face and made my way through the masses of dancing people.

"How you doi'n" he asked with a wink. I looked at him and laughed.

"Quoting Joey Tribbiani won't always get you the girl jay jay"

"Don't call me that" he said as he put his hand on my shoulder swaying to the music.

"So what happened to that clam guy?"

"It's Clark and it didn't work out" he looked at me pouting

"Stop comparing them to him, you're torturing them and yourself most importantly"

"Who?" I asked playing dumb because I know if I gave him the chance to talk it would not end.

"Ok, you want to play it that way then let's forget about it, what do you want to drink?" I crossed my hand over my slightly revealed stomach trying to cover it. Leia didn't take no for an answer when I told her I would pick my own outfit.

"Nothing"

"Oh come-on lighten up, two shots"

"Jake no!"

"What! It's not like it's your first time drinking"

"That's the problem I know what happens when I drink, so nothing will do it"

"Fine you party pooper"

"Who says that anymore" I looked at him funnily.

My head started hurting from the loud music, I clenched my coat firmly in my hands as took it from the chair beside me.

"Jake, now I'm gonna be a real party pooper, I'm going out say hi to Leia for me and take a taxi home I'm not losing any of you soon"

"What! But you just came!"

"I did say I didn't want to come but none of you losers let me do what I want"

"Fine text me when you reach home"

"K" I said and I blew a kiss in the air.

I made my way out and put my coat on. The bus should be here in­­­_ shit, the last one was 10 minutes ago, great!

I started walking hugging myself tightly protecting myself from the wind. The grey concrete lanes started changing to a darker grey and the lights of the passing cars started getting shadowy.

It's raining.

I smiled, I was always a rain lover, just like him. We would look at the window and pick a raindrop and make a whole marathon out of it.

Sometimes he even would catch me off guard by having our coats in one hand and the other stretched out to mine with the brightest smile on his face. His voice would lure me in whatever crazy plans roaming in his head.

My hands slide down to my pockets to get my headphones and phone out to put some music on and let my hand in my pockets as the cold started seeping into them.

Here it goes again. Me missing him. My skin aching for his touch lips missing the warmth of his. My hands cry out for the soul of his hands.

Nothing is the way it was when he was here. Drinking coffee is not the same. It's boring without our morning talks, the way he starts with "Well, today is going to be a good day, isn't it Cress"

Cress. His nickname for me, rarely I ever heard him say my name. I felt special whenever he uses it, and I would feel strangely odd if he uses my original one.