All she wanted was one day, one day to have peace and have her monsters vanish from inside her head. She wanted one day were she could lay in bed and go to sleep with out all the worries about what stupid thing she said and she should of siad this instead of that. She wanted one fay without the girls at school looking at her like she was some girl that shouldnt be allowed outside cause of how "ugly" she was. It wasnt her fault that she didnt have all the makeup and the creams to make her acne go away. She wanted one day without all the people pushing her into lockers or slapping books out of her hands. All she wanted ome day to eat lunch in peace and not hear people whispering about her being alone and not having any friends. Of course she felt lonly no one would come near her cause she was "weird" or "odd". But she wouldnt have anyone go into her personal circle cause she is afriad of commitment. She is afraid that they are going to stab her in the back and leaving her in the past or tell everyone her personal secrets. She wouldnt let that happen, not again. Her only friends were the voices in her head. The voices told her what to do walk or run. The voices told her the best way to relive her pain was to self harm. She would cut herself everytime someone would even look at her. Arms, legs, stomach. She started to get a deeper feeling of lonlyness after cutting. She would cry. She would cry her self to sleep, if she did sleep. Every morning her eyes would be red and puffy. Every morning when she walks down the corridor her peers would look at her with pity. She wouldnt cover her scars. She wanted to them to feel terrible about what theu did to her. She wanted them to feel the pain and suffering that they caused her. They started yelling at her "Go home pig" "Are you even human I mean look how pale you are" "ugh your acne is disgutsting." She would yell put with her wrist facing up " LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME! AND YOU CALL ME THE FREAK! ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOURSELF AND WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU!!"
She would run to her home. 14 blocks away. She would find a belt in her room and write a note to her mother,
Dear Mom
Im sorry that i let you down but look at your precious child now. I will love you forever, tell my unborn brother about me, but do me one thing name him after dad. Ill see dad in a few seconds anyway
Love your daughter
She hung the belt in her bed room door way, put her head in the loop and fell. As she was dying she saw her life flash before her eyes. Like when she was five her dad was puching her on a swing and got her ice cream, but she also saw her dad on the news saying that he had died in a car accident, then her dad funeral, all the crying people but you didnt understand all you got that day was her dads dog tag when he was in the ARMY.
Her mom came home and walked up stairs to see the most horrifying thing in her life. Her daughter just hanging thier. She called the cops and they were going to be there in 10 minutes. For those ten minutes she just sat in her living room holding her stomach, hoping that she her baby boy will have a better future. The ambulance came took her down. With the ambulance came local news reporters. They would bonbard the mother with questions but she would just break down in tears everytime she heard her name. The police men would have to tell the reporters to back off and not to ask anymore questions.
The mother would walk into her daughters room and look at the stacks of dvds she would listen to non stop and she would remmeber yelling at her cause it was so loud and to turn it down. She would also so find her blade that she would cut her self with and still has dry blood on it. She would look into the mirrior and imagine her little girl next to her but all she saw was her little girl hurt and sad. She found the note that her daughter has wrote her. She could feel the tears weld up in her eyes as she read her little girls perfect cursive hand writing. She read the part about her dad and she broke down in tears knowing that she has lost her first husband, her first born and her unborn childs birth father. She thought she could actually die from every one leaving her but she knew that she had to stay strong for everyone especially her for her unborn son.
The son will be named Nathan Kayla Johns
