Just a High School Sweetheart?

Her:     

I gaze out the window looking up at the beautiful sky with thousands of stars. Maybe some were even planets? The moon lit my entire room as I process my situation. "Re Write the Stars" is in repeat on my phone as think about him. So this is what it feels like... to be in love.

I can't sleep even if I tried. His beautiful smile that he gave me every time we saw each other and his dark eyes that I always seem to get lost in crosses my mind. His hair is so soft under my touch. When he hugs me I feel like I could save the world. He's someone so close to me, but not how I want it. I'm in, what some may call it, "the friend zone."

He doesn't know how much I love him. He doesn't need to. I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. I don't need to ruin another friendship. Especially him.

But somewhere deep down I know he feels it too. The electric sparks when we touch. The butterflies in our stomachs when we hug. That happiness we feel when we see each other. I don't know what I would do without him. I'm hoping neither does he. A bit selfish, isn't it? Well that's what happens when you're trapped in so-called love.

I smile. Maybe we're soulmates? His figure crosses my mind once again. How would it be like if I spent the rest of my life with him? How would it feel to be inseparable? To never let go. I giggle as I remember one of the jokes he'd told me earlier. Something about him was different. I know it sounds cliché but he wasn't like other guys.

Who am I kidding. There's no way we're soulmates. "Not like other guys" I'm insane.

A soulmate is someone you don't mind spending the rest of your life with.

I don't mind spending the rest of my life with him.

But a soulmate is someone you can rely on.

We both rely on each other though.

A soulmate shouldn't be one sided.

I frown. Oh.

I grab my phone. He likes me back right? Were all those late night conversations meaningless? All those "I love you"s. All the secrets. All those stupid jokes that would make both of us burst into giggles and laughter.

Were they all just... nothing? Was he just a high school sweetheart? No. I knew he was the one. My... soulmate.

Today 1:35pm
Me: hey I know it's late but can we talk?

HotDudeThatTotallyDidntWriteHisOwnNickname: yea sure

Me: we've been close for a while now, I was wondering if U'd liek to, idk... go out with me.
Read 1:36

I hesitate as he types.

HotDudeThatTotallyDidntWriteHisOwnNickname: woah, I didn't know you felt like that cupcake... I'm really sorry I can't return the feelings.

I stare at my phone. "Soulmates."

Me: Hah, Jessica dared me lol.

He's just like the others.