I was laying on the floor at my best friends house when she asked me the question I've been dreading all night.
"Are you jealous?"
It got me thinking. I'm not jealous.. I don't get jealous.. But I get scared because I know all my friends are going to say I have nothing to worry about and in the back of my head I know it too but I can't help but think about it.
I can't help but wonder if he will fall for her and lose all feelings for me.. I can't help but imagine him texting me and saying "we need to talk" I can imagine him sitting me down and telling me he doesn't love me anymore or that she's just better.
I'm so much to deal with. I have so much baggage and problems. I make him unhappy more than happy most times. Honestly if he chose her I wouldn't blame him. I wouldn't choose me either.
I love him. I love him so god damn much my heart hurts at the thought of losing him. But it hurts worse at the thought of him not being happy.
I want him to be happy regardless of if I'm there.
If she can make him happy I'll be fine with letting him go..
I know I'm over exaggerating and it's probably nothing but I can't help but Think about it.
I get jealous even if I say I don't..
I can't help it that Boys my everything I'm so scared and I shouldn't be but my insecure brain thinks otherwise..
