Royal Romance

Childhood memories

The sunlight filled every corner of my room and was inviting me to go outside and enjoy the beautiful spring day. The smell of red roses under my window was traveling up to me and I couldn't resist it. I got so deep into my daydream that I even tryed to reach one of them, but my hand was suddenly stopped by my window. The glass never felt so cruel before.

I turned around thinking that not looking at the beauty of the garden and flowers will calm down my urge. My room still had some beauty in it. Enourmus bed in the middle of the wall, huge closets and a dresser... All of it contained or was either interely made out of pure gold. But it didn't make me happy. It never will.

"I want more." I said to my mother, the Queen, one day.

"But, Eleanore, my darling..." She said while never even looking at me and enjoying her bath. "What more can we give you? You already have everything."

"No, I didn't mean like that. I want something more out of my life. I want to play outside. And not just during the night."

"Oh, darling... You know that a princess has to have flawless pale skin. Do you want to look like those servant girls that spend hours and hours working in the sun?" One of the servants was present and mother didn't even care if she hurt her feelings or not.

"My skin is not who I am." I said mumbling.

"And who exactly are you?" My mother shared a couple of laughs with the maid.

"I am this sadness inside of me that is breaking me trying to find it's way out. I am happiness and joy in my heart that is about to dissapear forever just like the fire when you put water on it. That water are my tears. And they are about to become nothing but forgotten memories from past."

"Sweetie, what do you want me to do about that little poem of yours?"

"I..." I felt like she didn't understand me and nothing I say could ever change it.

That was the day when the last tear fell down my cheeks. From that day, I became emotionless. Just like a lady should be.

She doesn't laugh too hard when she finds something to be funny, she is never angry or yelling no matter how upset and she is always quite.

It is interesting that none of this rules would matter when it comes to the villagers. .

~*~

But time has passed just as it always does, wheither you want it to or not. I grew up since then.

When I was younger I have always thought about what made adults grow up. They didn't look just like kids who's arms and legs became longer with time and they're face got older. There was something more beneath that. A completely different mind.

And now that I became one of them, I realized that what made them adult are the bad things that happen to them. At least that was the case with me. Maybe bad things make a bad person and good ones make a good person. Maybe it's just the oposite. We choose who we wish to become. We, and those who hurt us.

Perhaps I am still too young or too childlish to talk about pain. At least not the one that defines you for the rest of your life and cuts you in it's own shape so that you can never become again what you used to be in the past.

I am curtain my mother would laugh if she heard my thoughts. I better stop. Because what is in your mind will sooner or later somehow find it's way out.

~*~

"I see you never get tired, do you?" My mother barged into my room but somehow in her elegant manner that only a queen could do.