When You Were Never Mine

Boundaries

Congratulations

Again, another late-night text message, only this time, you were in bed alone after Tony had left for his trip that next evening after the engagement. You were feeling a little lonely already, having had no time to celebrate properly until he would come home again in a month. Bucky had been the reason for the near-interruptions during your date with Tony, but you hadn't been able to answer him; you weren't sure what you would say. You had been caught up in the moment with your now fiancé, and to talk to Bucky then felt impolite.

Before you answered, you wondered why his messages were always at this time of day. Where was he? How did your time zones match up? If it was nighttime for him as well, then what was keeping him up? You immediately considered nightmares as the culprit, having been witness to Steve's own demons in action far too many times on missions that left you sleeping at his side and waking to calm him down. It made you sad to think that the same fate plagued Bucky, but the odds were strong in that favor.

Thank you. You finally responded with the customary answer, and you meant it, but then it dawned on you; who had even told him? How did you know?

I saw it all. Didn't you realize that we connected?

No, I guess I didn't. Usually it knocks me on my ass with the dizziness and nausea.

You were busy. No offense taken.

None meant.

Per his usual routine, Bucky didn't answer right away, nor would he for nearly an hour. As usual for you, you didn't push. It had been so long that you had heard anything from him that the last thing you wanted to do now was to send him running again. He had run enough in his life, you knew that much about the man, and you wanted to be a safe place for him once and for all.

Are you happy?

You looked down at your new, polished ring and couldn't stop the smile that came with it. You and Tony had been together for a long time now, and you had proven that it was a match that worked. But it was more than that; it was a match that felt right, even if the universe denied you as soulmates.

Yes, I am.

Then I'm happy for you.

Buck, I haven't heard from you in two years. What's going on?

You startled when the phone began to ring in your hands; so startled that you nearly dropped it in your surprise and fumbled to keep ahold of it. What had shocked you even more, was who it was that was calling. "Hello?"

"Is this okay?" Bucky asked softly. "Texts are good, but it feels...impersonal. I think we're past that now, right?"

"I sure hope so. It's good to hear your voice again. You sound calmer than the last time we spoke."

"That's pretty damn amazing with how wound up I am. I don't know, (Y/N), I haven't been able to shake this feeling, like...do you ever just get that feeling...like you're being watched?"

"Yeah," you agreed hesitantly, "usually when I'm being watched. Where are you? I can have a jet in the air in ten minutes."

"No, I'm not bringing you here. I appreciate it, though, I really do. I just needed a familiar voice to help me calm down. Steve used to be the only one who could do that."

You unconsciously took a long breath and held it, your own nerves building at the prospect of an answer that could mean so much to one of your closest friends. You wished that you could will him to say what you wanted to hear, but there were no guarantees as the question passed through your lips. "Buck, do you remember him?"