memory lane [l.s.]

introduction

*lowercase intentional*

strobe lights. sweaty bodies. unknown faces. pounding head. loud music.

louis didn't remember how much he drank, or how he ended up dancing with some brunette chick. he didn't remember how he lost his shoes. or where his friends ended up. he didn't remember leaving the bar.

the lights were flashing, colors taking over his vision. his body was moving, dancing, but he didn't feel any of it. he was grinding on a girl, not remembering her name or if he had even bothered to learn it. hair was plastered across his face, sweat dripping as he continued dancing. he felt weak, like he might pass out any second, but he didn't stop. he couldn't stop.

the girl finally turned around, revealing deep blue eyes and long eyelashes, "i have to go." she smiled, clearly very drunk. she pointed over to a group of girls who were waving her over. she placed a sloppy, wet kiss on his cheek before stumbling out of the crowd of bodies.

louis felt his feet moving out of the crowd, back towards the bar. he sat down on one of the stools, resting his aching elbows against the bar that separated him from his only sustenance. he put his head in his hands, trying to put enough pressure on his skull to stop the pounding inside.

"lou?" louis looked up to see a green-eyed boy looking down at him.

green eyes.

"lou?" a raspy voice woke louis up from a dream. "lou wake up." the voice, whining now, started to shake louis lightly.

"haz shh," louis muttered into the pillow, trying desperately to fall back into his dream that had been so life-like.

"louis, im bored." harry whined again. a pair of curly locks brushed against louis' neck, causing him to giggle lightly, pushing off of the pillow and turning onto his side to face the brown-haired boy.

"what time is it." louis sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"it's only nine, lou." harry smiled cheekily causing louis to groan.

harry laughed, resting his palm on louis' warm cheek. "you're so pretty." harry was now looking into louis' blue eyes, observing.

"shut up." louis chuckled, cheeks heating up as harry continued to stare at him.

his eyes were so green. so beautiful. so harry.

"we have our first show tonight, louis." harry smiled, causing louis to realize that the up all night tour was starting tonight.

"you know they're going to make you wear that blazer." louis laughed, recalling how harry had been disgusted at the thought of being the "bad boy" in one direction.

"they're going to make you wear those silly red pants and stripes." harry smiled, "but i don't mind, i like them on you."

louis laughed at the memory of a shy harry. he never used to be able to compliment louis without a stutter and a completely red face. it made louis smile. harry was more confident now, because of him.

louis smiled as harry pushed his head into the crook of louis' neck, cuddling up to the older boy.

"i'm glad i met you, lou." harry murmured into the skin on louis' neck, causing the blue-eyed boy to shiver slightly.

"me too, haz. me too." louis smiled, placing a small kiss to the top of harry's curly head.

he remembered his eyes. how green and deep they were. he remembered his hair. how soft it felt, how much it smelt like home. he remembered his skin, hot and silky against his own. he remembered him.

all of him.

"lou?" louis snapped out of the trance he had fallen into, looking up to meet green eyes again. not those green eyes, not harry's.

"i'm fine, matt." he sighed as his friend sat down next to him, wrapping his arm around the blue-eyed boy's weak shoulders.

"i'm not stupid, louis." matt whispered lightly, rubbing louis' back as he began to shake and let the tears roll down his face, hidden away in his hands.

"i think i'm starting to sober up." louis sighed, frustratedly wiping away the tears with the rough fabric of his jacket.

"louis," matt warned, but the boy had already waved over the bartender and a beer had been placed down in front of him.

louis quickly wrapped his fingers around the cool bottle. the scent, the taste, alcohol has become all too familiar to him.

"you can't keep doing this." matt sighed, taking his arm from around louis' shoulders. "you can't keep drinking like this."

but louis had already gotten half of the bottle into his system. the alcohol starting to flow through his blood again. memories would soon be forgotten. the pain would stop after awhile

and he knew he had to stop. he knew it would only make things worse. that he was only temporarily fixing his problems. he knew all of it.

but he knew he couldn't face the feeling when the lights finally went on. when he was fully functional. when he remembered.

he finished the first beer. he ordered a second, a third, a fourth. and after awhile he started to feel a smile form on his face.

matt had been sitting with him the whole time, trying to stop him. "louis this isn't you."

louis smiled at him, standing up from the stool. "i don't want to be me." and before he knew it, he had made his way back into the crowd. he had found another girl.

he had managed to forget once again.