Broken Soul.

Chapter 1

It's been two days since I betrayed my closest friends and I feel like a fraud.

I hate myself for having done this to them, but deep down, I know it is for the greater good. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself to feel a bit better. The truth is, the guilt is eating me alive. I will never forget the look on Thomas's face when he realized what I had done. But he couldn't possibly understand. How could he? Ever since WICKED had given me back my memories, I had felt overwhelmed. Everything I had once believed in came back, hitting me hard. That had been tough. But what came after was worst. From the moment we escaped the WICKED facility, I knew I was left with only one option. And that was betraying the people I cared the most about. I've thought about it for a really long time. It even crossed my mind, at some point, that I shouldn't do that to them. That we could find another way. But then, Winston got infected and I decided that I couldn't continue to let this happen. If there was any chance that we could find a cure, I had to take it. And so every day after Winston's death, I've been trying to find a way to contact WICKED. I felt awful. I couldn't even look at my friends, I couldn't stand to see their eyes filled with hope. The night we found Jorge and Brenda, I knew I had an opportunity. There was this man, standing in the corner of the room where Jorge had questioned us. I had noticed him immediately. He didn't look thrilled about Jorge running the place. The nasty looks he was giving him... it was clear that this wasn't somebody you could trust. But I had to be smart. I couldn't risk stealing the radio he had on him. The call had to come from him. Soon enough, I realized I had been right. It didn't take long until we heard Janson's voice ordering us to surrender. The man had sold them all out. I was relieved, in a way. I hadn't directly betrayed them but still, the guilt was still there. It didn't last long though. A few minutes later, Jorge had managed to blow up the entire abandoned factory, leaving everyone on their own. I barely had time to steal a radio before everything fell apart. I didn't know where Thomas was. Brenda had also vanished. I was left with Newt, Minho, Frypan and Jorge who told us that we'd eventually find them. We headed for the mountains, hoping Thomas and Brenda would too and that we would cross paths.

Two days after we had been separated, I was trying to see things from a different angle.Having my memories back also meant remembering what I was working on before WICKED sent me into the maze. And as much as I hated to admit it, Thomas was a key element that they desperately needed. And I didn't want to contact them while Thomas wasn't with us. So we searched for them for two days straight. Having found nothing, we decided to rest for a few hours. I didn't like resting because it meant not doing anything, not being active. And when that happened, the guilt I had buried inside of me came rushing back. I couldn't talk to anyone because of how ashamed I felt. That's a pretty shitty feeling, having to internalize your every thoughts. But that night, something unexpected happened. I was trying to shut down the voices in my head telling me I was nothing more than a coward when I heard someone sobbing. I got up carefully so as not to wake anyone up and headed for the little backyard behind the house we had decided to stay in. There, I found Newt, sitting in the only chair we had managed to find. He was crying. Him and I weren't very close so I didn't quite know what to do. He must have heard me though, because he turned and quickly wiped his tears.

- You scared me, he said.

- Sorry.

I awkwardly sat in front of him, not knowing what to say. He looked in my direction and when he saw I had no intention of leaving, he threw the chair away and sat in the grass, next to me. We looked at each other and all I could see in his eyes was sadness. The last time I had seen him like this was the day Chuck died.

- Are you okay? I asked, already knowing the answer.

- Yeah, I just couldn't sleep, don't worry about it.