The Man Who Ran

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I can't believe after all this time I'm going home. You'd have thought it would have occurred to me that I couldn't be it the military forever, but I had been living day to day, hour to hour, for the last three years, pushing all of those thoughts aside. It was a shock to be surrounded by the hustle of civilians going about their business, to not be carrying a gun, or be waiting for someone to pop up and kill me.

I stood in the airport terminal, waiting to board, trying not to think. I was so lost in my head that I nearly jumped when they called for us to board. I shuffled forward, handing my ticket out to the woman to check, and got on, quickly finding my seat. I watched the business people, the parents, the teens. It all seemed so mundane, yet I could see under it all. A couple with little kids was half crazed, the guy in the cheap suit was worried, and one of the teen boys was hiding a porn mag in a comic. How original.

A tired looking man stepped on with a very pregnant looking girl clutching his hand. He looked down at her with such love that it hurt to watch. I turned away, trying not to grimace. All I could think about was how much I wanted that, how much I wanted to be with the man I loved... no stop thinking about him!!! I forced all thoughts out, creating a void; simply not thinking, knowing it would all lead back to him.

I wanted Jason so bad, I wanted to feel him in my arms and know that he was mine, to be able to wake up beside him, to live the rest of my life with him. Instead, I would have to see J in Lola's arms, wake up alone to see them happy, starting a family, living their lives, while I pined for one I couldn't have. All I wanted to do was stop thinking, to just forget him and move on, to find happiness apart from my fantasies of us when we never would be.

But how could I not think about him? How could I forget? J was perfect in every way, everything I would ever want. Living with them was going to be hell. It was going to break my heart beyond my ability to fix, if not kill me, and he would still be all I could think about.

A tap on my shoulder jerked me out of my brooding, the stewardess. Waving her off, I mentally shook myself, trying to find the blank space in my mind that I had retreated to for all these years when my thoughts refused to leave him, but it eluded me, leaving me no refuge. I sighed, leaning my head back, abruptly feeling tired. Closing my eyes, I sought the oblivion of dreamless sleep.

I hear the door open, and I freeze, standing stock still in nothing but a towel, boxers loosely griped in my hand. I feel cold hands graze my back lightly, causing a shiver to rip through me, the boxers dropping to the floor. The hands run up and down, leaving trails of fire burning me to the core. My breath caught in my throat as the hands snaked around my waist. I could feel myself hardening, as the hands toyed with the towel, skimming over it, rubbing me.

I moaned when the hand slipped under the towel, gripping me roughly. I arched into the hand, the towel joining the boxers on the floor. Lips dragged across my back, teeth nipping, tongue licking. I was throbbing in the hand, desperate for friction. The hand let go, teasingly trailing its fingers along my length, ripping a groan from my body.

I spun around, pinning the body against the wall. I was half surprised to see it was Jason staring up at me, lips parted, eyes clouded with desire. I stood there, frozen, my fingers lightly caressing his face. Suddenly, he pushed me back, forcing me on the bed. I pulled him against me, capturing his lips with mine. He tasted like wine and chocolate, the combination driving me wild.

I broke the kiss to literally tear off his shirt, before pulling him tighter against my bare chest, his hands loosely circling my neck. His breathing sped up as I trailed kisses along his jaw. I captured his lips again, frenzied, I couldn't get the feeling that this would end out of my head. I grabbed his waist and pulled him closer, grinding him against me. Electricity shot through me, causing me too gasp, while he moaned.

I twisted, pinning him on the bed. I dragged my lips from his chin up too his ear, biting it lightly. I kissed and licked my way down his throat, biting when I found his soft spot. My hands wondered down his sides, over his jeans to the buckle.....

Turbulence jerked me out of the dream. I quickly sat up, eyes darting around the cabin, taking in the sleeping passengers. I sighed, slumping back into the seat. I should have known that I would dream of him, I couldn't get him out of my head no matter what I did.

I sat there; awake for the remainder of the flight, trying to direct my thoughts in less... problem inducing directions. I thought about seeing Lola, and J's mom, and well J. It had been so long, so much was different with me, I was like a whole different person. It would be almost the same with them.

I stared out the window, taking in the rising sun. It was absolutely beautiful, the light colors chasing away all traces of night, dissolving the mysteries, replacing it with something that I couldn't quite identify, it made me feel uneasy, yet somehow hopeful. Odd. An announcement broke me from my trance.

I looked around the cabin. Everyone had woken up while I was spaced out and were now shuffling to get everything put up right. One of the stewardess's was speaking over the intercom telling everyone what to do so we could land. Now I was nervous, what the hell was I gonna say to everyone?? I mean J was probably still mad that I left the way that I did, or Lola would be mad for him, and I'd hate for either of them to be angry. I knew what to expect with his mom, hugs and kisses and a lecture on how I should never scare her again. Her I could deal with, them not so much.

Twenty minutes later we landed. I waited for most of the people to get off before I even stood up, grabbing the only bag I had brought with me. I walked off the plane slowly, thinking of what to say. As I stepped out into the building I was smacked in the face by a wall of noise.

I slowly made my way through the crowd, searching for the face I was both terrified and excited to see. My heart was pounding; it was all I could do to control my breathing. Just as I broke through the crowd, I was ambushed by a shrieking ball of fire.

“CJ!” Lola yelled, nearly blowing out my ear drums, “YOU’RE HOME!!!”

I laughed as I spun her around, should have known nothing would change with her. I slowly set her down, taking in everything about her. She’d barely changed, her wild red hair was now shorter, but everything else, the shine in her eyes, the freckles across her nose, looked the same as the day I left.

I looked around the terminal for J, but he wasn’t there. I turned back to Lola.

“Where’s J?”

A look crossed her face that nearly caused me to have a heart attack.

“He’s, uhh, he’s at the hospital.” She started, “He’s fine, but mamas sick, so we need to go.”

She grabbed my bag and dragged me out, and all I could think was ‘please, be ok.’