INNER THOUGHTS CAME OUT

Where???

It feels like there's no place for you to go. All the places you thought that are off the hook and cozy sames like becoming a perilous place. You really want to escape, to hide, to ignore but their voices keeps on lingering in your head that 'you can't and you'll never be'. In the end, it keeps on echoing in your two open ears that you only have this three persons, you can be with, 'me, myself and I'. People in every place you go were physically and mentally developed but they're actually emotionally retarded. They tend to judge, to humiliate and to criticize, yes, it's good but doing it like pretending to be innocent is not. They have known you with the best curve plastered on your face but when your teary eyed says it all, it doesn't matter. You tried to decipher the situation but all you can do is to overthink nonstop about 'what's going on?' 'what did I do wrong'. They can count the days you're in glee but not the nights you cry. You tried to fit in, they judged. You tried to show off your true colors, they judge. You tried nothing, they judge. It's like they love you as much as they hate you. You'll come to a point that it's better that you vanish for them to be relief but you know you're not that kind of person. You choose to be tortured and tormented like a martyr, you like to be a masochist but you are merely a human not a thing that incontestable of pain. You want to tell a very sad story but you don't want them to be saddened so you keep quiet at the corner and cry for yourself, a silent cry, actually. No matter how many hundreds of good deeds you've did only your mistake will stand out and can't be forgotten,ever. Sometimes, what you think is harmless can eventually hurt you. You choose to be more of you but they misinterpret it that you've changed but you did not changed at all, they just think of you like 'that' person but you're not really 'that' person. Why? because they don't want to accept the real you. Don't be a book that opens to all people, be a gift that opens only to a special person. In the end, you came to realize that you will decide for yourself and find a soothing place. You close your eyes and when you open it, you find the answer, the everlasting comfy place you may be in is in 'God's side'. Not everywhere but only in God.

I'm actually talking about a certain person but yeah, who knows it's you 'inner'