Chapter 9: Solitude

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I couldn't move. I was stuck in the one position I was in. I was lying in bed, crying from the pain. I couldn't even make a clear sentence. I was shivering continuously from the cold. I could hear Clarissa crying in her room, mom in there to comfort her. The tv was blasting in the other room, John obviously watching some shows. He was probably laughing about what he just did.

At least I still had my phone. I reached over to my bag, flinching at the pain my body stabbed me with for moving. I grabbed it and sat near the wall. I had 6 missed calls and 13 texts from Mary and Dylan. I opened my phone, answering to Mary first.

Mary: hey
Hey
Martin answer me.
Martin you're scaring me
Plz tell me you're still alive

Me: Yes, I'm alive. I am ok

What? You expect me to tell Mary I just got abused again? No.

Mary: Oh thank god. You normally text back ASAP. Where were you?

Me: I had to go get my sister from a party. She got a bit drunk

Mary: Clarissa a rebel? She's so sweet. There's no way she would do that.

Me: Believe me, it happened. Also, her best friend kissed her out of nowhere

Mary: Oh. What she do?

Me: She punched her right in the face

Mary: Oh. Tell your sister that she shouldn't be too hard on bi and gay people. After all, she has to deal with you.

Me: I can't

Mary: Why not?

I breathed heavily at this. It probably wasn't the best decision I've ever made, but oh well.

Me: John just beat us

Mary: WHAT????
What happened? How badly are you hurt? That little prick is dead!

Me: He beat me for going to that party, escaping and running away to Dylan's house and other stupid stuff.

Mary: Is Clarissa ok?

Me: No, she's in her room crying. My mom's in there helping her. I can't believe I let this happen...

Mary: Martin, this isn't your fault...

I stopped reading and texting her and moved on to Dylan's texts.

Dylan: Hey
Sorry if I did or didn't do something
I'm really happy your my bf
Sorry if that's awkward
But I really like you
I hope you like me too and I can't wait to see you again
Are you there?
Well, if not, bye, goodnight and miss you already.

I couldn't reply. I couldn't tell him about what happened. He would look at me like a freak. He wouldn't want to be with me anymore. I through the phone away from me. I cried more from the guilt of not being able to tell him about John than the actual pain.

My door opened, my mom stepping through. She had a glass of water in her hand. She knelt down next to me.

It's her fault, my mind hissed. She's the one who got us into this problem. Falling in love with guy and then marrying him.

No, I argued in my head, Clarissa and I both liked him. He just became a drunk and mom is scared of how he'll react if she tells him she wants a divorce.

But she would do anything for her own children's sake, right? My mind went quiet after that. "Hi sweetie. You feeling ok?"

I looked at her, the dark filling my vision so I could only see her eyes glimmering a bit. I could tell where she was, but not really what she was doing. " Mom, I know you want to make sure I'm okay, but I'm not. I really don't want to talk right now."

I heard my mom gasp a little and then she walked out of the room, softly closing the door behind her. My phone lit up with a text, from Dylan.

Dylan: "Hey, are you ok?
You never texted back earlier, I just want to make sure you're ok

Me: Yeah, I'm fine
Sorry that I haven't texted back, was hanging out with Clarissa

Dylan: Can you call rn?

Me: Yeah

A few seconds later, Dylan's phone number popped up on my screen. I answer the call right away.

"Thank god! I thought you died or something like that. What happened?"

"Well...", I stammered," I was helping Clarissa sneak in, because she got a bit drunk a-and I fell asleep."

He noticed the quivering in my voice, and immediately asked," Martin? Are you crying right now?"

Shit. Either tell him what's really going on or make up some stupid excuse. I answered," Just a bit. I was watching tv before you called and a really heartbreaking moment happened."

He sighed,"Good. I thought you were crying about something else. So... I know this is kind of sudden... But... Will you go on a date with me?"

My mind imploded on itself right there and then. My mouth probably was on the floor, due to it being dropped by the sudden question. "Yes! I will go on a date with you!" I whispered excitingly. I was bouncing up and down, wincing only a little, " When?"

Dylan took a bit of time. "Tomorrow, or today since it's already 12:11 in the morning. I could pick you up at 6:30 and have you back before 9."

"Dylan, you'd probably keep me till 12 if you could", I started to giggle a bit.

"Well, yes, yes I would."

"Ok, it's a date then. just saying though, I'm probably going to sneak out through the window again. So be parked closer to my window", I suddenly heard foot steps. "I've got to go. Bye." I hung up and threw my phone on my bed, under the blankets. My door opened and Clarissa came in. She was in tears.

"Martin, can we talk?" She whispered, her lips quivering. She plopped down next to me. "Martin, early tonight, my best friend kissed me. That's why I punched that girl. I didn't mean it, but I was drunk. It all happened so fast. Now, I don't know if I have feelings for her or not. What do I do?"

Before answering, I tried to lighten the mood, " You're asking the kid with no relationship experience nor a social life." She at least giggled a bit, which made me happier too. " But if you like her, ask her what she truly thinks about you. And if you don't like her, tell her you just want to be friends."

She looked at me with that look where people think, 'Wow, you're crazy and awesome.' "Martin, can I ask you something?" She had a puzzled look in her eyes. I thought about what happened tonight. If whatever she asked made her feel better from John, then why not?

"What is it, sis?"

"Are you dating someone?"

Can I take that back?

I answered," Yes. But I'm not gonna tell you who. And you'll never guess..."

"It's Mary!!!" She shouted a bit loud. I laughed. I might as well hav just died on the floor.

"No. No, it is not Mary. Don't waste your breathe. You don't know the person."

"Fine," she skipped to the door," ... Hey, Martin? Can you tuck me in?"

"Yeah..."

I followed her out, closing the door behind me, leaving behind the dark prison I held myself in, and accidentally passed out on the floor while tucking Clarissa into bed. I dreamed of my Prince Charming taking me to heaven and never bringing me back. And then I woke up. Because all good dreams have to come to an end...

That my dear people is what I like to call: Bull Shit

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