It started a few years ago when I left my Mother, Father and Jack to live with my Grand Parents. They are always so nice to me but they only wish for me to get off my pills but they I know it’s better if I take them. Mum and Dad always complained about the cost of them but Grandma just buys them without any complaints and Grandpa makes sure I take 1 a day. I do love my brother Jack but he has depression and that makes me feel like I have lost something inside, with this feeling I see Doctor Jack and talk about my feelings and I sometimes lie and say I am feeling fine today but I never feel fine I always have this lost feeling inside of me.
My life isn’t all that bad I mean my Grand Parents say that I don’t have to do any chores but I always do random chores that I made up for myself, I don’t like letting Grandma do all the dishes or Grandpa mowing the lawn by himself so I always do it for them and they always reward me and it makes me feel like that lost thing inside of me is being found, along comes the day of school where I hate to go because of one guy called Kelvin he always bullies me for no reason, once he came up to me and said “Your hair looks like a birds nest maybe you should cut it all off it may make you look better, oh wait nothing can make you look better.” That makes me feel like I am worthless and have no meaning for life but Jade always makes me feel good on the inside whenever I see her, she is my best friend and my only friend.
After school while I was walking home Kelvin came up to me and trips me over and said “Stop trying to make me look up your skirt I don’t want to see what’s hiding there.” Then he runs off laughing and I go home crying, now I have started taking 2 pills a day all because I can’t deal with Kelvins bullying and sometimes he gets other people to come and push me around tell me I am worthless and say Jade is a fake friend and that Kelvin is paying her to be my friend, but I try not to believe it but it always gets to me and I start crying and run to Jade where she tries to cheer me up and make me feel good but Kelvin and his friends always take that thing I was finding and destroy it making me feel like I have lost something inside.
As it comes to the end of the year when I taking 6 pills and I am starting to become happy I get a phone call from the Police and she says “Your brother Jack has suicided for some unknown reason and that he has died come right now I know what you’re feeling.” As soon as I heard that I started running to Mum and Dad apartment to find Police tape in front of the Building and see a bunch of Police officers at the scene, I run under the tape and a Police officer stops me and the officer walk over and say it is okay she is a part of Jacks family. I walk over to the scene and see Jack dead on the floor and I couldn’t help but yell “JACK STOP PLAYING AROUND GET OFF THE FLOOR I NEED YOU, PLEASE GET UP!” I stop and drop to the floor crying thinking how could this happen to me, as they place the bag over him I couldn’t help but think it’s my fault this happened if I was living with Mum and Dad I could of stopped this.
I started seeing Dr Jack every day of the week but every time I see him it reminds me of Jack and I hate it. Every day I am taking 15 pills because it feels like is does nothing to me and I am just sitting there at school looking and feeling dead inside so it doesn’t really bother me but I do wish they would stop just for 5 minutes, Lunch comes and they are still attempting to bully me and just when I am at the point when I am ready to kill them a see something… A light comes from behind me but I am not paying attention and it grabs me like a hug and says in Jacks voice “If we could be reborn then please play with me again.” Then it stops and walks away then stands there I turn around and look at it then I see it is Jack and I run towards him and he just disappears into thin air and I couldn’t help but drop and start crying, it is the most I have ever cried in my life but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore, I sat there crying for about 30 minutes until Grandma came and picked me up and took me home.
The next day I sat there remembering what I saw, I was confused whether it was a ghost a spirit or a figure of my imagination so I saw Dr Jack and when I said his name it reminded me of Jack and I said that to him and he just sat there and thought then he said “I understand what you’re going through and I wish that you would forget your brother but I know that you want to remember him and seeing me is making it worse because of my name, so if you want I can organize a different therapist to see you if you want.” So I was there thinking then I said out of no where “I want you to be my therapist because of your name, this way I will never forget Jack, he will always be in my memory because of this, thank you.” After the session I go home to Mum and Dads apartment instead of Grandma and Grandpa only to see his room before the building is closed for cleaning.
I go back to my Grandparents house to see that they have made me a sorry for your lost gift, It had a picture of Jacks face on it making me feel happy on the inside but also dead because of it, I keep it with me al the time and make sure no one touches it. When I went back to school I saw everyone looking at me when I went to sit down then Kelvin and his gang walk up to me and say the words I will never forget “We are sorry for bullying you, after we found out about the incident we had to get you a gift that we stole from you ages ago.” I look at what he is giving me and saw my picture of him that I took when he was sleeping, this had a great effect on me and I thought that I had lost it, I was angry and happy about it but I just took it and kept it on my bedside table to always remember Jack.
The next day a new student came to my School and the first thing he does is start bullying me by saying “Jack was a failure.” or “Jack was useless at everything he did.” This made me feel like killing him but I just held on and kept going on with life, Jack died in September for some unknown reason, There was nothing that would of made him suicide but then I realized he lost his happiness I don’t know why, maybe it was his depression but either way this has had a big toll on me, and is making me take more pills, now I am taking 19 pills almost quadruple the amount someone is supposed to take so I am almost over dosing but then one day something bad happened at school, as you know I am dead inside but then one saying from the new guy just killed me till I can’t even do anything those fateful words was the death of my soul, “You are the reason Jack suicided and you should just go and die.” That day I went home early and just sat in my room doing nothing.
That moment I’m just thinking about my life then I pick up a knife and put it in my school bag for tomorrow, I’m going to kill the new kid. The next day at School the new kid comes up to me and starts bullying me and I just pull out my knife and stab him, everyone was looking at me some with surprised faces and some with scared faces, then I run off back home with Grandma and Grandpa just to hear the phone ringing and the door being locked, then I see their scared faces just watching me as I stand there with an afraid look on my face. I drop the knife and stand there looking like I’m sorry and I wish this never happened, then I was just standing there with nothing in my hands then I pick the knife up and throw it to them so they will let me in, they take the knife and hide all the other ones before letting me in, they ask me why I did it I said “He kept saying bad things about Jack and I have had enough of it.” They thought of calling the Police but they just said stay in your room and they will sort it out, the next day when I walked out of my room to tale my pills I took 25 pills but it didn't feel like was doing anything, so I took 2 bottles, within a few minutes I guess I had died. I think this is what they call “The Final Call”, but now I can see Mum, Dad and Jack again, we can finally be a family.
