Journal Of Yvette Camarillo

Chapter 3

I hate how I cant trust family anymore. Like my friends are my family. They know when something's wrong. And they won't go around telling everyone else my personal shit.

I now have to get a lock for my door. Just so that they won't see my journal, they read it already. Since then my mom checks up on me more. She took everything sharp out of my room (I got it back, don't tell her.)

Family that I could trust were my older cousins, Jasmine, Mario, Phillip, Marlecia, Brianna, Vicky, Mona, and the others. O don't even know if they remember me. I miss them so much. I wanted to see all of them on my birthday but they were busy. Family is supposed to be before friends. But I really don't know if that's possible anymore.

Let me tell you a story. A story about how I finally got to show my bestfriend that I really liked him.

Okay well on thursday, in 3rd period everyone was laying down on the floor. So Victor was sitting up & I laid down on his lap. Then Dante was like by my butt right. And him & Victor started messing with it & they were tickling me . Then I laid back down & we like held hands. then he laid down next to me and I laid on his chest and we were just holding hands until the bell rang. And we were talking on kik thursday & we really like each other. Linh, screenshot his conversation with him. Victor had said that we were going out and that he had already asked me. So I saved the screenshot. I sent it to Victor and in the message box typed question marks. He asked what and said "I think we r dating." That's when I told him "think". doesn't mean we are. yeah I really like you. but you never asked me." At 8:39 pm on June 6, 2014 he asked me out. That was basically the happiest day of my life. Also to find out that his bestfriend had the same date as us with his girlfriend. Crazy right? Haha well yeah.

I guess pain really loves me because I feel like shit. On Wednesday at church they told us the only reason we feel worthless is because the enemy wants to take over. But if we just sit there and let it, we won't think that God is doing enough to make us happy.

I think its funny how my boyfriend can answer someone else but not his girlfriend. Don't you think it's funny? Goodnight.

Haven't been on this thing for a while. I don't get any WiFi at this motherfucking house dude. I hate when friends turn me down once I asked them first and go to another friends house and make excuses. Like just tell me lmao. My dad's a bitch, like fr. I got him something for father's day but idek. Im not gonna be on anything for the rest of the summer. So don't try to hmu. I had a lot I was gonna put in here but its been a while so I forgot everything. I get to see some of my family. So I know I can tell my Tia what's up with life. Like I've been feeling like shit all week. Nobody in this damn house even cares so I try to hide it. Ttyl hoes.

They're having a party at my house, but ya know I'm just not feeling it. I wanna sit and listen to Hunter Hayes the whole time. Because I feel like shit, because I don't want to interact or socialize, because babw hasn't texted me at all since Tuesday or Wednesday, because that's the only thing that might make me feel better. Like have you listened to the lyrics? Like really listened to lyrics of any song and it just starts getting you thinking about everything.

All your mistakes, your friends, your family. Just everything.

I just need family to be there for me.