Gone...

Chapter 4

After a few hours of me being on my coil, Aoba woke up. I could tell he wanted to stay, but he had to go to work. Despite the fact that I hate seeing him leave I told him to go because I knew that he needed to work today. After my sweet boyfriend who I loved dearly left, I got up and went to go put my piercings back in. After putting the cold metal back in, I laid back down on the soft but uncomfortable couch. I use to love this couch a lot but now I swear this is gonna be my death bed and if not, then a hospital bed. I eventually turned the taunting thoughts off and went back to sleep. I slept good for once. Once I woke up, I saw my blue haired boyfriend on the ground asleep. I smiled a little, got up and poked him. "Hi baby," I say as comforting as I can. He say a quiet and sweet hello back and sits up. He rubs his tired light brown eyes, the eyes I dare to forget. Even though he and I knew I was gonna lose this fucking battle, we kept smiling trying to push it back into hell. Except, it wasn't working.

I had an appointment every week to get a CAT scan which took fucking forever. They're trying to help me but I know it's not doing shit. I can't stand the fact I have to leave aoba years before I could live a full life with him. My fucking mind was spinning a thousand times a second. It swarmed with thoughts I couldn't control. I-I was gonna die and no one can stop it. Soon enough I started to just stay in my room and not move. I refused to eat, I refused to even look at aoba, all cause I could see the pain in his eyes I couldn't forget. After he was done working he would come over and sleep with me knowing he has little time. My weak, pale, and thin body rarely let me cry, and if I did cry, it'd be when Aoba, the only person I care about, was gone. He never knew when I cried, he never asked knowing I'd get pissed. I was so fucking angry. There were times where Aoba would come over and there'd just be thousands of cuts on my arm. He hated the fact that I cut but he, the only person to ever be there for me, a fucking loser, could stop me from doing anything but this. I just wanted to die and just give up, but I couldn't cause I didn't want to leave Aoba.

About two weeks later after my cutting incident, I asked Aoba out for dinner at my house. He said yes, of course. He got of work early that day, got dressed nice even though it was just at my house, and came over. I had a nice-ish dinner setup and I had my only suit on. His face was in shock when he saw the dinner and me. He lightly hugged me knowing how fragile I was. He sat down and I did also. We talked like normal forgetting about my cancer. We also ate the pizza I ordered. After dinner before Aoba got up, I stood up and then got down on one knee. I pulled out a ring box and opened it. Inside there was a beautiful silver with blue diamonds ring.

"Aoba Seragaki, even though we won't have as much time as we wished to have, will you marry me?"

"Yes."

I soon put the ring on Aoba's left ring finger and stood up. He was a cute crying mess. He hugged me light enough and I hugged back. Pulling out of the hug, he and I shared a sweet passionate kiss on the lips. He was still freaking out for about an hour until I passed out across his lap. In the morning, I woke up and I felt terrible but I didn't say anything. I slept most of the day, especially while Aoba was at work. After a few days on me feeling really shitty, we got married. It was just the two of us just because my body was very weak. We went back to my house after and once we got inside, I went to the couch and layed down. Aoba came over and sat on the floor holding my hand.

"I swear I won't leave you."

"I know Noiz."

I looked at him and he looked at me. My eyes started to tear up looking at him. I squeezed his hand a little and a few tears fell. Aoba wiped them away lightly. I soon passed out. I was still holding his hand in the morning. He was awake and I asked why he wasn't at work then I remember he had off today. All day we cuddled and slept. I felt good but soon enough something happened.

I woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom. I started throwing up a ton of blood and I called for aoba. Aoba soon came in and called the ambulance. I kept throwing up and I just couldn't stop. I was getting really lightheaded and I could see Aoba freaking out. The ambulance arrived and the paramedics came in and brought me to the ambulance. Aoba got in and held my hand. I was losing my vision and hearing, the last thing I remember was seeing aoba holding my hand crying.

"I love you," I whispered before blacking out.