After Dunkirk

Chapter 20

Alex POV
It's been a couple weeks and I'm kind of in a weird spot of confusion at the moment.

Well, I don't even know if I'd say confusion, but I don't exactly know how to feel being here and all.

At first it was a little weird but now I just don't really know how to feel about it.

Of course I do feel the normal feelings of sadness over just missing everyone and thinking of all that I need to fix back at home, but with that being said I don't really know how to feel about everything else.

I don't necessarily feel like things are getting worse though, I just don't know if I'd say they're getting better right now.

Day by day I do feel like I'm starting to gain back a little more control over myself, but I know that I've still got a long ways ahead before I'm even close to being where I want to be.

I just don't know what to do next.

Like after all this what will I do?

What if Georgia decides she doesn't want to work this out and that she doesn't want me around her or the baby then what?

It's not like I have some type of huge plan set out for myself or anything and being here I've gotten to really think about all of these things that I've never really taken the time out to think about before.

I just don't really know what to do if things were to not work out.

But even with all that going on, I'm trying not to dwell on it.

I run every morning now. It's really relaxes me and I think it's been helping a lot.

One if the therapist gave me a journal to write in and so far I've been writing in it everyday.

I never would have thought something as simple as writing would be helping me, but surprisingly it has a lot and I'm starting to make it into a priority.

I haven't really been having too many episodes the past couple of weeks but I did have one the other night but now they have me on medication that I guess stops them from happening because I haven't really had anymore since I've been taking the pills.

And thankfully with these they don't give me those god awful headaches, they just make me kind of drowsy sometimes.

Georgia POV
It feels good talking to Gemma and Anne again.

I still feel bad that I kind of made it awkward at first but I guess the main thing is that we are talking again.

I talk to Gemma practically everyday and last night she came down and ended up falling asleep at the house.

Its nice having someone to talk to though.

Even though Gia's around, she's on the go a lot we don't really get to talk that much.

She doesn't even really know that much about what's been going on with me and Alex.

I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing though.

My mom keeps trying to get me out of the house but I just haven't really wanted to go anywhere.

I'm always tired, but one of her friends is having a party this weekend so I'm thinking about going with her.