I am not depressed
I just can't find the right emotion for the word Happiness
Am I numb ?
I fell dumb
Music make me feel calm
Heavy metal , I'm supposed to feel chilled but .
I feel nothing
Like a poker face in a bunch of people enjoying .
Like an acapela in the midst of happy songs, people dancing.
Its not depression right ?
But can't fight the lonesome I'm feeling inside .
But I'm not sad
Either not mad
I know my heart is pumping .
But I can't feel the beat of it's beating .
Perfectly numb maybe .
Done by people unwantedly hurting me ..maybe .
But I can't blame them .
Its normal because I care for them .
I love them .
I just don't know, if they also feel the same .
Is it not sadness ?
Or depression ?
I guess-
I don't know how to be happy anymore .
