Love, Simon and Me

#LoveSimon

Dear World,
Changing the image your community associates with the you, the one they've always known, is a difficult feat. We all change over the course of time, and our relationships must adapt to conform our continuously morphing identities. Sometimes we hide important parts of ourselves, about which we are unsure. Recently many have been brave enough to be honest with our society with these additions to the true self. Mine is a case of revealing, though not in the context any of you would expect.

I am introducing the one and only me to a foreign environment entirely.

World, in the course of my student career as of now, I have attended three elementary schools, three junior highs, and two high schools. Now, I am in the process of adapting to a school that offers courses at semester length, so the students I'm joining are meeting new classmates and teachers just as I must. Luckily, I have my best friend since forever and potential friends in band the transition easier. But- I feel I'm nowhere near that point.

The classes in my previous school were full year, meaning I am restarting all the courses I learned the first half of already. I will say I am a nerd and a fast learner, and this was not helping me make friends. Surely I am viewed as an insufferable know-it-all, while some of my classmates are still trying to grasp the concepts. In geometry, the girls that sit with me are constantly picking my brain for answers, not my personality. In chemistry, I try to be nice and help my neighbors view the criteria in an easier way, but all I get are eye rolls and scoffs it seems.

In my old home, I held the niche among my friends as the innocent, sweet, goof who loves all things band and reading. The bright and optimistic one who could cheer you up in a heartbeat. In a cliché novel, newkid status would either mean I have great friends and popularity by lunch hour, or I would be bullied for being different. Here, I fade in and out of existence. Not quite belonging. I sit by myself in the band room before school, mere meters away from huddled conversations I don't dare to join. At lunch I am admitted to a circle of friends that tolerates my presence well, and I enjoy the laughs I can share. Once food is long gone, I have trouble catching my friends' eyes in the halls, lest a meek wave.

I managed to find these people who will converse with me, but few are trying to figure me out. How do you say, "I want to get to know you," when they don't give you the chance? They never ask how I'm feeling about the move. Or how I'm dealing with my  500-mile LDR, the one who sticks with my crazy.

I'm just like you; I deserve romantical and friendly love.
Love,
     @megna76