CHAPTER 1 : THE SINNER

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CHAPTER 1

SINNER



What is love?

It can be a feeling, an object, an idea, a person, and the list goes on. Who knew what it truly meant? All I know was that, I was nothing but a mere victim‒a willing victim that succumbed to the clutches of the biggest mistake humanity has ever stumbled upon.

To love.

I have always thought that love could dissolve every bit of ugliness that enveloped this world inside out. I should have known that you can't eradicate raw hideousness with itself in another form‒disguised by the name of love. You must be wondering why I'd refer love to something so bitter. Well, one could only see beauty when it is thrust upon them, but when you are placed right in front of viciousness itself, you begin to uncover the truth behind its mask.

It isn't a sin to simply let your heart beat for another, but when one puts everything in line for love‒we become greedy and selfish, and start to want more than what we should and could ever have‒that's when it becomes one. Especially when it's forbidden in any means. Because humans are greedy takers, we want what we mostly couldn't have, and we let it cling to us like a leech, sucking everything we ever had‒morals, principals, dignity‒and throwing those out of our system.

And I, Oddeth Cullen, am a sinner.




Love.

George.

Hearts.

A sigh escaped my tilted lips at the thought of the man that my heart belongs to. Just thinking of him made my heart beat faster and a blush to coat my porcelain cheeks. Yes, I'm in love. And it was the best feeling in the world knowing that the man I love, loves me too.

"You are to be married..."

Marriage.

Sigh. Oh, what a blessing it would be to walk down the aisle and meet my groom at the altar! Just the thought evoked a love-sick giggle to escape my mouth.

"To Charles Kingsley tomorrow. Oddeth, were you listening to me?" It was Amelia's voice that drifted to my wandering mind first, but when the meaning of what she said caught up to my cloud nine, it mercilessly sliced my daydreaming and crushed them to tiny bits.

My eyes met the blue eyes of my stepmother and searched their depths desperately. Why did another man's name enter the perfect picture of my fairytale? And what did she mean by marriage? It couldn't have been true. But as my green eyes clashed with blue, a sinking feeling of dread settled on the pits of my stomach, as the aura of dead seriousness held my neck in a vice grip.

My voice took too long to recover, but when it did, it cracked with disbelief and fear. "D-did you say m-marriage? To Charles Kingsley?"

"Correct. Tomorrow to be exact." Her tone held finality.

"T-t-tomorrow?" I repeated, dumbfounded.

Her face twisted into a frown and her scrunched eyebrows hinted her irritation. "Yes, tomorrow. Now, pull yourself together and we shall see the tailor for the fitting of your wedding gown‒"

"Wedding gown!" I exclaimed. I was starting to panic. My heart was beating fast, and this time surely not from being a love-sick girl, beads of sweat also started to form on my forehead and roll down my face, and it felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Oddeth, stop repeating everything I say!" Amelia snapped. "Do not cut me off and listen to me, child. Where have your manners gone?"

I shot up from my seat. "I'm sorry, but I could just sit idle and let this be! I did not agree to this. I do not want to be married to a person I do not love, mother!" My fists were clenched and shaking as I met her glare from across the room.

"This is because of that boy, isn't it? That peasant is not good for you, Oddeth."

This fuelled my anger. "His name is George. And you do not get to say what is good for me or whatnot. I love him, and he is the only man I will marry."

"Think what your father would feel when he finds out about this? A mere woodcutter would bring shame to this family. The family's honor will be tarnished. It just cannot be, Oddeth." The tension in the room thickened and the heat of our energy waves rocketed to a thousand.

She stood up, "Your selfishness will bring this family down, child. You better learn to throw those long-due infatuation and puppy love and start thinking about this family's good."

Her words had cut me sharp. It was as if her words suddenly turned to blades and pierced my heart at every angle. It was true, I was being selfish, but had it not been flat-out vicious in their part?

"They love each other, Mother. People would talk now, but they'd forget as time passes by. This would be nothing new. But a love that's been stolen of its right to blossom can never be replaced again. A wilted flower will not bloom another as magnificent as it was before." The cool, sharp voice of my half-sister was the first thing that made herself known, before her light blue eyes and her long, golden curls appeared in our line of sight. She faced her mother head-on, taking my side in this matter, like she had always done.

Amelia rolled her eyes before glaring once more at her true daughter. "Emily, my dear, instead of making Oddeth fight this, why not try to make her see what is good for her, hmm?" she gave Emily a pointed look, "You, yourself know how deep she is into her delusions." Her hard eyes fleeted to mine for a second.

"No! I will not change my mind. I will not marry that Kingsley‒I don't even like him!"

"Everyone has a choice, mother. Let her be. If you really want the Kingsley to be a part of our family, I'll marry one." This was not an issue, because unlike me, her heart does belong to a Kingsley. Her abrupt proposal did not come as a surprise, but it did not deter Mother.

"The both of you can marry anyone as long as it is of our status. Peasants can never be a part of our class, Oddeth." She jabbed once more. "It is not just acceptable."

"No." I pressed.

She sighed and shook her head, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Just think about your mother, Oddeth. She would have wanted you to do this."

That was a low blow. She knew that my mother‒my true mother‒was a soft spot, and she exploited that weakness, using the same card over and over again. I pressed my lips into a thin line as I let my eyes do the talking. I let my lucid eyes show her how hurt and angry I was. But as angry as I was, I was also hopeless. So I turned around and walked out of the room, hurrying towards my own safe haven where I can truly let my crumbling walls down, to a place where a sinner like me could be safe.

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