a diary of my love, from me to you.

an opening that could have been avoided.

This isn't a poem, a love letter, a recount, a note or anything of the sort. This is me letting my feelings out about you, and nobody else. I hope I'm the only person in the world who gets to read this, I don't want anyone else knowing I feel this way. But if you are reading this, take it lightly, with a pinch of salt almost. Feelings fluctuate everyday, like your love, don't they?

It took me a while to force myself to write this, so I took a deep breath and decided to finally let it out. The bottled up, thoughts and feelings I have arranged pitifully into words that have made a beautiful haze and a scattered mess in my wandering mind and sinking heart. It feels like a dull weight has been slowly lifted from my chest and expressing myself feels as though am breathing my feelings out, slowly, softly but almost wrongly.

On a restless hot night in the middle of the summer, I felt the need to go out. Calling my two close friends, I decided to sneak out of the house and roam the streets throughout the dark midnight hours. After a while , we arrived at our destination. A good friend of mines house.

That's when you turned up. You... the first thing I saw when you approached me and my friends whilst we were stood at his door. We quickly locked eyes before I turned away from you in embarrassment, I didn't think you thought much of the minor exchange of glances, (but I certainly did)... You were wearing a Nike Air hoodie, Nike joggers and white air max 90s. You looked so pristine and smart. You. A tall, handsome boy who made my heart skip a beat the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were going to turn my life upside down if I pursued this love-struck dream I had spinning in wavy circles my head and taking over my mind, slowly, but surely.

When I think back on this summers night, it makes me fill with joy, looking back on a beautiful memory, a new beginning, a life changing few seconds, or minutes, or even a few hours. The first hours we spent knowing each other are the most nostalgic. A beautiful summer's night memory. We met by accident but it feels as though 'we' loved each-other dearly on purpose over time slowly but definitely surely. We don't see the most important moments in our life as they happen; it seems as though only when we look back at them we realise how if we didn't do one tiny thing, we could have went down two totally different paths of life and none of this would have ever happened. What a tragic love story, two starcrossed lovers who just weren't meant to be... in my eyes.