How Not to be a Lady

NO.238

Even when they are an ass, retain your class.

That is probably one of my favorite sentence in the whole book.

Hi there. My name, if you're wondering, is Princess Alexandra Ines Mia Moira Hazen... Nope. That's a lie. Did I fool you though?

Anyway.

My real name is Alexandra Hazen. I am not a princess. I am a sixteen year old girl, living in a small town of Nowhere, with my mother and older sister, in my grandfather's old house. He recently passed away this year, and since my mom has five other siblings, we didn't think we would get much.

Okay, I'm going to take you back.

Before we moved into this old house of my grandfather, we lived in a small apartment building in New York. My mom was never around because she was working. She still is. Same fashion and make up business. Mom was always obsessed about that stuff.

So, we lived in New York for a while. I went to school. I had friends. I once had a boyfriend, but then he told me I should stop skating because it "wasn't very lady-like."

Yes boys, girls can skate too.

I've been skating since I was nine. Thank you very much.

And if you know me, I'm not lady-like. I'm like the exact opposite of lady-like. I like sci-fi and horror movies. I play violent video games. I swear like a sailor and trucker combined. I like tattoos, and bugs, and dirt.

But I'm still do my hair, and choose my outfits, and paint my nails, and other little girly things.

Yet, my mom had another idea. She wanted me to leave behind my tom-boyish nature and become a lady. So she wrote this little booklet thing, and filled it with little rules on being a lady. Guess what the name was.

"How to be a lady."

Yeah. Something like that will totally change my mind.