Worthless

Worthless

Every time, every time you walk through the door, she is right there, unheard and unfelt about what you do or how you feel, not that she has to know you. No matter how hard you try to be good at that one thing you love to do, she always stands a step ahead of you and the worst part is that she gets the attention you hoped you should've deserved. You cannot collect the pieces of courage you have left within you because no matter how hard you try you cannot strive with her, she is just too perfect. Things she does, you've been doing it too, but people go for her and not you only because you were too shy or embarrassed of what you would've done. Only because your voice wasn't loud enough, she gets all the compliments and the encouragements you've been craving for all the way.

They say, "There is always someone better than you, but that is not supposed to bring you down." But let's be honest, it always does. After all, you know she's better than you and you don't hate her for that. But she is always right there and no matter how hard you try to stay in the middle so they can see what you are capable of, you feel invisible and undesired. It's not her fault, no, it never is. It's you who is to be blamed. You weren't brave enough or confident enough to show them what you've got when she was.

You've got a list of things that you want to do, things you want to be and achievements you want to make. And, there is only one thing that's holding you back, fear. Fear of not believing that you are good enough. Fear of her moving faster than you because you think she can never be scared, can she? Fear of losing and giving up. Fear of feeling worthless. After all, all this time she has always stayed ahead of you and you know that she is so much better than you and you can never be worthy of what you've always dreamed to be. They don't know you can do things too. And it brings you down again and makes you feel like you are not good enough because they said so. I know that 'you shouldn't listen to people, they don't know you but still they judge you' and stuff. But, at the end of the day, their feedbacks makes you fall apart. That's what I hate about our society. You make yourself believe that what people say doesn't matter, but deep down inside of you, you are breaking just because they don't know what you can do, all they know is her and what she has been doing.

Listening to people's positive thoughts about you, listening to compliments always makes you feel better about yourself, and somehow you need them to keep moving on. That's what all of us count on in this society. 'She said I was good, I'll do it again.' It's up to you to tell yourself words shouldn't be able to push you away. Words are strong, strong enough to break you down, but your confidence towards yourself should be stronger than that. Yes she is better than you, so what? That doesn't mean you don't exist and you should just forget everything you've been doing to feel good about yourself.

Yes, you are worthless. Worthless of all those efforts you've been giving away just because you weren't courageous enough to show them what you've got. Because you are worthy of what makes you happy. Stand out there, live in the moment, do anything you can do to be what you've been dreaming of and then turn around to everything you've accomplished till now, everything that stands behind you, not ahead of you, you still have so much more to walk. Yes, someone is always better than you, and it always brings you down, but that doesn't mean you don't know how to get up, does it? Yes, people talk, good or bad, at the end you should make yourself believe that you will make them feel either proud or regret about what they said. And her? Just go knocking on her door and tell her how good she is, everyone deserves compliments right? Only because people tell someone else is good, it doesn't mean you are not. You are worthy, worthy of everything you think you can do.

~priyanjali