How Long Will I Love You

Prologue

I was looking outside the window with no emotions while sitting at the table near the window. The raindrops can be heard at the rooftop making a loud noise. I could hear all the students are making a big celebration because of the suspension of the classes during this day. I could feel the rain is symphatizing with my current situation because of a broken heart. I always liked the rain. The rain could could feel your agony and what you are feeling while walking under the rain. I really simply doesn't have any idea why he broke our engagement. I love him so much. I really do love him. But why did he chose to break my heart? Whatever his reason is, is it enough to leave me hanging like this? Different scenarios are running into my mind right now. Should I kill myself? I really wanna kill myself right now. Lord please give me a sign. If a truck is running to me without a break I won't move. I will gladly let myself be killed and it's a perfect scenario and opportunity for me to die or should I drink? Hell I wish I could but no one in my friends will join me. To be honest they can make me happy for awhile but they cannot remove the emptiness that I feel right now.

My thoughts was cut off when someone patted my shoulders. I look at the person  who patted me. It was one of my bestfriend, Mariam. I look at her with a cold eyes and no emotions. She also gave me a symphatizing look in her eyes. I could see right through her that she wants to tell me something but she chose to shut her mouth. Hell I care with that.

"What?" I asked her with my cold voice.
"Aren't you going home? Cuz you know it's raining so hard class is suspended. Radylyn is already waiting for us outside. You coming?" She asked me trying her hardest not to cry because of my sudden change of personality.
"You guys go ahead. I'm still thinking of how I will I kill myself right now." I told her. "What are you talking about? Are you freaking insane?! Tell me that it was just a stupid lame joke!" She shouted at me but I still look at her with no emotions. I rolled my eyes at her and looked at the window again. "Just kidding. It's a stupid lame joke."  I only said that to her so she'll stop freaking out.  But I'm really am planning to kill myself. I grab my backpack beside me and jumped at the table where I'm sitting. I look outside and see that it's getting darker outside and I decided to go home.

She followed me outside. Radylyn followed us while I am walking three steps ahead from them. I could sense that Mariam is telling Radylyn what I said to her a little bit awhile ago. I was about to go outside the school when someone grab my arms.

"Hey are you ok? You're not really into yourself right now. We understand why you became like that but can you get yourself together? You are alive but you look like you are hardly breathing." Radylyn said to me. I just shrugged my shoulder and also look at her with no emotions written in my face. "I'll try, I'll go ahead now. I still have a planning to do." I told her and walk. "See I told you she's insane! She's planning to get herself killed, that's the plan she is talking about Rads! Damn that stupid asshole! This is all his fault. I'm gonna cut him into pieces I swear!" Mariam said. I rolled my eyes again because all eyes are on me. Dammit she just created a freakin scenario. "Can you guys shut it? I don't have any plan to kill myself. What I plan to do now is to go to sleep and a have rest. You're overreacting so cut it out already." I told them but there is still no emotions that can be seen.

I left them, I walked through the school gate and stop for a moment to decide whether if I will ask someone to fetch me since it is really raining so hard. I don't know whats gotten into me because I just walked into the rain. I was in the highway waiting for a cab I saw my bestfriends at the other side of the road. They mouthed me saying 'be careful and i love you's' I just nod at them and wave them goodbye when suddenly a truck suddenly bumped me. All I can hear is a commotion and I saw my two bestfriends crying and calling someone I manage to hold my head and see a lot of blood into my hands.

"Mark, please don't leave me. I love you so much." Is all I can say before I lose my consciousness.