two\like the smoke in the sky: fading, fading, fading....
Flynn was mom's favorite.
But I never minded because I was Flynn's. He said that since we were born together like two peas in one pod, I would always be his most important, the one who he would love despite everything and anything. Flynn always knew just the right things to say to me and I supposed he would of course, because he was me and I was him.
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Coan Flynn Smith always smelled like aftershave and fresh laundry.
Every time I went to Jay's room, which was pretty often since my roommate never showed and my hall mates all thought I was a pretentious whore, I would instinctively take in a deep breath. It was like a innate reflex to breathe in as much of Coan's scent as possible. I didn't care if it made me seem like some animal sniffing the air.
His scent was great. It was like paradise.
Even Jay's musky cigarette smell didn't hinder Coan's freshness.
Surprisingly Coan never cared that I went to their place every other day and in between classes. He seemed comfortable with the fact that I didn't have much friends and that I came even when his roommate was never around. He went so far as to actually put a black beanie chair in the corner of his room for me, near his side, since it we pretty obvious I liked his neat side more. It was my reserved corner, he had said with a kind smile.
That particular day was a Thursday afternoon.
I had just finished my last class of the day, philosophy 101 and was recapping what happened that day to Coan. It was like method of studying, the way I methiodically updated him on my class notes.
"So today the professor was like, 'just talk about whatever, just whatever boggles your mind,'" I said, while smoking outside the open window.
Coan had just finished pinning a towel over the fire alarm so it wouldn't set off from the smoke.
"At first I just sat and listened," I said as he nodded, taking a seat by his desk. "And then some kid starts off by saying he was afraid his dreams for the future would be crushed by reality."
I thought of the skinny boy with the red hair and brown freckles as I remembered the way he anxiously spoke to the class. I smiled, thinking about how the old professor behind his large round glasses had looked around the room and made eye contact with a jock that obviously looked uncomfortable being spotted.
"What do you have to say about that?" the professor asked the kid.
Jake, the name of the poor bloke who was caught off guard responded the following:
"Uh....uh.. when life gives you lemons, make lemonade?"
The professor had given a small nod and pondered about what Jake had said. Jake of course probably didn't have a clue what he was talking about, so the rest of the kids snickered or thought in confusion but the professor continued.
"Interesting point," he started. "Can anyone go further into detail with that?"
A girl with a high pony tail responded. "Well, lemons can be seen as the obstacles life throws at you right? So I guess we can say that even if there are difficulties in life, you can turn that into something that works for you."
The class nodded in approval and mused over that.
The professor agreed.
"Then the professor said this: The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking." I told Coan as he looked at me. "And I thought, this class was fucking brilliant."
Coan nodded in agreement. "The class definitely makes you think." He said.
"Yeah, it's like I've been given all these new possible ways of thinking about life, you know?" I said while puffing out a ring of smoke.
It floated past the window and into the open air, quickly fading into the beyond.
Coan smiled, the corner of his eyes wrinkling ever so slightly. "Sure." He said in agreement. I looked at him and couldn't help but feel how sincere the kid was. He was like really, really fucking sincere.
"So what was your dream growing up?" I asked him.
He thought for a second. "I wanted to become my mother." He said.
The cigarette almost dropped from between my fingers.
"..What?" I sputtered.
He looked surprised for a second, and then he chuckled in amusement.
"No, not like that." he laughed softly.
"My mom was this amazing businesswoman you know. She was the one who responded to all the calls and emergencies. To me she was like a queen when we were young, and all I wanted to be was her in the future." He was staring outside the window where my smoke was leaving.
"I wanted to be someone to lead others, someone others could rely on, but then I realized I wasn't cut out for it so I moved on from that dream."
"Then what was your dream after that?" I asked.
"I wanted to be my brother." He said.
It wasn't meant to be funny, but I couldn't help but laugh at the notion he wanted to be his other family members, that they were his dream, one after another. Maybe it was then that I began to realize who Coan was beyond the kind pleasantries and sincere words. He sincerely wished to become his mom and his brother, not in the way that most might admire their family and wish to be like them in the future.
Coan wanted to be them.
I was laughing then, but I know now.
Coan wanted to become them so purely, so completely, that he would forgo himself if he had to.
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Author's note
So what do you think so far about the characters? hopefully the characters are being slowly feshed out for you :)
leave a comment below and let me know how the story is going ! chapter three will be coming soon
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taping eggshells
Conto- - - > He was like poison, slowly seeping into my skin, drowning all of me in something numbing, something frightening. He peered at me with his half empty hazel eyes and I wondered what he saw as he leaned forward and locked his lips to mine...
