Gonna Be the Death of Me (adopted by Brendon Urie)

//seventeen - the man that i've become//

Song of the Chapter: Hard to Love, ONE OK ROCK

Back in LA, Theo walked around the town aimlessly. He couldn't stop thinking about Eva. Last night, he barely slept knowing what had happened. She worked so hard to quit all of the harming of herself, and in ten minutes she drowned. That's all it took I guess, ten minutes, one split second of chaos, to slip completely. For the next week, Theo hardly left his room, other than for school or to walk around town to avoid his parents. He didn't want to talk about anything or be with anyone other than Eva, and that wasn't an option, so he opted for being alone. 

The day after everything happened and Pete called him, Eva called him to talk to him about everything. Theo picked up on the first ring.

"Eva, I care about you so much and I'm so sorry I can't be there. You deserve the world, babe." The sentiment made Eva tear up. She still hadn't forgiven herself for the incident. "Theo, please don't be sorry. This wasn't you, okay? This was my fucking mind, okay? Not you, and you can't help it that I'm not there with you right now. This was my choice to go on tour, it's all my fault." This shocked the worried boy. How could she ever blame herself for everything? "This isn't your fault either. It sucks, and it's hard, but it isn't something to blame on someone other than that kid." He heard her sigh and could almost see her shake her head softly. "Don't shake your head or roll your eyes, E. Believe me, this isn't you." Eva loved that he knew all of the things she did, but it didn't stop her from doing them. She sat on the last step of the FOB bus, throwing Brendon's jacket hood up over her head. "It's not that easy, babe." she whispered. Theo broke right there. "Just, please, remember that I care so much about you. I miss you everyday and I need to see you alive and in person again. Otherwise, I won't make it much longer, okay?" He breathed in and sobbed once before continuing. "Please, E. Just don't leave me." All the tears flooded Theo's face and he couldn't even finish the phone call. He pressed the red 'end call' button and threw his phone across the room with a soft thud. Theo grabbed a hoodie and ran out the front door with his cracked phone in hand. No one else was home so he had nothing to explain. 'Head to the Ground' with Eva's voice filled his ears as he ran from everything. 

That left Eva on the other end of the line, tears in her eyes and guilt in the pit of her stomach, sitting on the step and staring ahead in disbelief. She hurt him so badly, without even thinking about it. She hurt everyone. "Hey E," Patrick said as he walked past her and down the steps. Then he looked at her face. "What's wrong?" he asked hurriedly. "I called Theo and we talked about everything, a-and, h-h-he begged me to n-not leave-e him and hurt-t m-myself again." The words were harder and harder to push out. "Then he hung up, he's hurt. I hurt him, and I don't know what he's going to do." Now everything from her mouth was fast and almost impossible to catch. Eva looked up to see the pity-filled eyes and worried glance of Patrick. She didn't need it right now. She needed to run, just like last night. She wanted to run, feel something, punch something, anything. Eva jolted up and tried to sprint past the singer before he reached out and grabbed one of her arms and wrapped his other hand around her waist. He saw the wincing expression on her face from rubbing against the healing cuts, but right now, it was his only leverage to keep her with him and not running away to do something like last night. Eva went limp for a second from the pain and fell back into Pat's arm. "I'm sorry, E. But, I can't let you keep running. Running makes bad things happen okay?" She cried harder and tried to collect herself, only to fail. "I don't want pity or concern, 'Trick. I want to feel something, like what all of you felt. I want to feel what I made Theo feel. I want to know what hell I put everyone through everyday." The flood of words came again as she tried to pace around and rub her arms. The pain it caused was obvious and pacing was near impossible in Patrick's arms. 

"Eva, look at me." She hesitantly followed. "Breath with me," he said as he inhaled and exhaled at a slow, even speed. The girl followed again, less hesitant. A few minutes passed before he said "Now, sit down." Eva fell back onto the stairs. "Theo needs to process this. He is just worried. No one is upset at you, but he'll need time to think about things and come to terms with that fact that it isn't his fault. He feels responsible. You're both just kids and this stuff is a lot to handle." Eva closed her eyes and tried to keep her breathing even as she nodded. She knew Patrick was right. "I just feel so guilty, and I should, but I hate it 'Trick." Now it was time for the older to nod and let the words sink in. "You aren't alone, and it takes so long to know that. Family is here to help you in times like these. And Theo counts as family. Your friends count as family. We are your family and you'll get through this. You just have to stop running, literally and figuratively." He finished, giggling with Eva a bit. She looked up to him and stood up, wrapping him in a hug. Eva spent most of her free time that day trying to call Theo back, which was obviously not going to happen considering he refused to answer every time. She texted him once then threw her phone in her bunk and went to write and play for awhile.