Accounts of History from the Immortal Traveler

The Problem With Sailing (Circa 1500)

I remember sailing on a humid day, the sun out in its full sea-scorching glory, and the ship was being attacked by pirates.

"Become a merchant they said, you'll make money they said," I thought just seconds until I realized that the "they" I've been whining about was actually me. Yes, I definitely landed myself in this situation, and that's the foundation for why I was then ducking between crates of fine spices, dodging swords in the process. Guns and cannons were firing with bullets rushing past me. We were thoroughly screwed, but I wasn't in a position to think about that because I was more preoccupied with not getting my faced slashed of by a rather persistent Uskok pirate. While I'd like to say that I was flawlessly countering every lunge for my throat, it would be more accurate to say I was stylistically flailing out of the way of each strike with an audible yelp at each pass. I was outclassed and unarmed, but I had enough of my wits left to know that I was dead- well, metaphorically speaking- unless I managed to grab at least one of my weapons from my stash. As if the universe didn't already hate me, it managed to throw me the bird yet again by ensuring that my sword was on the other side of the ship.

I found an opening, ducked under my attacker's arm, and clumsily found my way through the chaos. Being pursued by my now majorly disgruntled pirate, I quickened my pace until I nearly found myself decapitated by a stray cannon ball. The ship's boatswain wasn't as lucky and found himself with one less leg than he had at the start of the day. I glanced down to where he fell as I passed by only to meet the cold and dull eyes of the ship's doctor with a sword slash through his neck. I forced myself to look away and continue in pursuit of my sword when I heard my name being called from the right, "Mattia!" I looked to see my husband, Diamante, running toward me. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine, the boatswain and the doctor are down. I need my sword, I've got a rather persistent one following me," I replied as he blocked another pirate's sword. Diamante answered the challenge with a quick slash to his attacker's throat and quickly followed it up with a hit to his wrist. He crouched next to the man's severed hand and yanked the sword free of his grip.

He handed the sword to me, "I know it's not your blade."

"This is no time to be picky," I noted and grabbed the sword from him. "You know full well that this isn't life or death for me, but I worry about you, be careful."

"I will, you have nothing to fear, m'lady." With the sentiment, he ran back into the fray just as my persistent friend greeted me with a furious swipe to the face. Now armed, I block the hit and shamelessly kicked him in the knee. I seized the opportunity in his pain to swipe his feet from under him and stab him in the chest.

"We're not going to last much longer, the gunner says we're low on cannon powder," the Captain was at my side.

"Do we stand a chance?" I asked.

"Maybe," he replied while dodging another assault. "But we'd have to take out their cannons, and that's suicide."

"How many cannons?"

"We'd need to take out at least four of their six."

"Done," I said while taking off for the pirate's ship.

"No, Mattia, get back here, that's an order!" He called after me.

"I financed this ship, you don't get to order me around," I replied before making the jump from our ship onto some enemy rigging. I slipped below deck where the cannons were, grabbed a barrel of gunpowder and rigged it to explode using an oil lantern I found below deck. The necessary cannons were destroyed along with a sizable portion of the enemy ship. "Damn, I forgot that I'm on the ship," I thought to myself. "I just have to clear the wreckage before it sinks." Most sailors didn't know how to swim; I learned how when I was a child. I took that moment to thank my father for tossing me in a river.

I took a running start and lept for the friendly ship. I was inches from a safe rail to grab when I was shot in the back by a lucky hit that was aimed at no one in particular, and down I fell into the sea while a dozen or so of the remaining crew watched. "Damn, I'm gonna have a lot of explaining to do." I thought as I swam to the surface and climbed up a stray rope that was hanging from a toppled mast. Diamante was waiting for me at the top of the rope to help me onto the ship. I looked at his shoulder, "You're bleeding!"

"It's not that bad," he looked at my side. "By God, you're losing a lot of blood."

I looked down to confirm what I had heard. Yes, I was losing more blood compared to him, but he knew the difference between our wounds.

"Yes, but there is a distinct difference between me losing blood, and you losing blood," I said in a hushed tone.

The Captain approached us, "They're in full retreat," he began to report until he noticed the growing red puddle at my feet. "By God, Doctor!" He shouted, looking around for the Doctor.

"Sir, the Doctor was killed in the battle," Diamante told him.

"I'm going to be okay, tend to my husband the best you can, please." I calmly requested. The captain had drawn the attention of the remaining crew-all twenty or so of them- with his yelling.

"Tend to-what-are you insane? You're bleeding out as we speak," he pressed.

"Sir, it might be better if we discussed this somewhere else." My husband offered.

"Before I pass out from blood loss," I added. The captain allowed himself to be led below deck to the food store room before I began speaking again. "I know you're worried, but I'll be fine."

"Fine? How, you look as if you're about to pass out," the Captain replied nervously.

"Mattia isn't someone you can kill with a sword, or a bullet, or with anything really," Diamante attempted to explain.

The captain shifted his weight and arched his eyebrows, "what is she then? She is of God, right?"

"Quit with the suspicion!" I barked. He straightened his gait and stopped his fidgeting. "Now," I continued. "I know from experience that you may not believe us, but I'll prove it to you after I wake up from this." My last words tapered off, and I collapsed onto the floor. "Damn it Diamante, would it hurt you to catch me," was my last thought before passing out.

Circa 1500s