Forever in our hearts

            I awake to the sound of the house phone ringing.  At this hour it sounds like a death bell.  Too tired to move, I lie in my comfy twin bed with the pink flower covers over my chest, lying on my left side.  Someone answers the phone, and I try to go back to sleep.  Closing my eyes, I think about magical winged-fairies and the beautiful place they call Pixie Hallow.

            Suddenly a loud, miserable cry bellows from another room in my house.  I clutch my pink teddy bear, holding it so tightly that I am now squeezing her small stuffed head.  Softly, I roll the heavy Bratz blanket and flower sheets over my frail body.  On the count of three, I get the courage to leap out of bed.   My body trembles as my tiny feet stagger on the wooden floor, cautious of squeaking noises.  I slowly pry open my door scared of what awaits me. 

            On a blue couch, I notice that my mom is sitting uncomfortably with the phone pressed firmly against her ear.  Large, salty tears leaked down her face.  With a worried look on her face, she looks at me and then at my teddy bear. 

            “Mommy, what’s wrong?  Me and Kristine came because we heard something.”  My mom looks at me as she desperately searches for an answer.  She starts to say something, but no words come out.  I wait patiently, yet anxiously for her to speak. 

            After what seems like forever she does.  “Sweetie.  Sometimes bad things happen to good people.  And other times it’s the ones that we love.  Grandma passed this morning.  She’s in heaven now.”

            “What.  No it’s not true.  Tell me it’s not true.  You’re lying!”  Little river streams flow down my face and into my light blue pajama shirt. 

            “No, I’m not lying.  That was Auntie Teresa on the phone just now.”  Hopelessly, I watch my mom as she forces a comforting smile on her face.  “It will be alright. Come sit with me on the couch.” 

The two of us sit together on the one-person couch, crying in sync.  As I’m rested on my mom’s chest, I hear her slow breaths as her chest expands.  My small, quick breaths attempt to mirror her slow breaths. We both sit in silence, glad to have each other through this difficult time.

My dad stumbles down the stairs of my two-story house.  As soon as his face comes into view, a look in his eye tells me that he knows too.  My dad puts an arm around my mom and I, protecting us from the sad news.  Our troubled emotions fill the room as we accept the fact that my grandmother is gone and she is never coming back.

            Yawning loudly, my sister walks in to the room.  As she asks what happened, my mom, my dad, and I all share a look of discomfort.  My mom looks down at the ground and her mouth opens.  Soon after it closes.  She looks at my dad for help and he gives her a reassuring glance. 

My dad is brave enough to spill the beans.  “Grandma passed.” He says bluntly as my sister’s face changes drastically.  She is no longer my sister who is always happy and loves to laugh.  It’s as if all the love and life has been drained from her.  She cannot even speak and wobbles on her feet due to the heaviness in her heart.  Unsure how to react to this, she knows that she has to be strong and comfort my mom and I.  No one has anything to say as we sit quietly, listening to the clock tick sharply.

“Nicole. You are not going to school tomorrow.“  My mom calmly tells me, while I am crying into her chest.

“Okay.”  I say, barely able to speak.

It took a very long time to accept that my grandmother had passed.  Some nights I would cry myself to sleep.  It felt like a nightmare; you are forever stuck there until you wake up. The more people told me “she’s in a better place now”, the more it hurt.  I thought that she was taken away from me; even though I prayed, she did not survive.  Somehow I felt that God was ignoring me. But I now know that God calls people when it’s their time to go with him to heaven.  She was not taken away from me; it’s just that her body could not handle everything.  My grandma may have been the bravest and most strong-willed, but there are some things that are out of our control. 

I never forgot about my grandma.  Whenever my grandfather on my mom’s side comes to visit, I still say that grandma and grandpa are coming.  And in a way she is here.  My grandma is watching over us because we are all of her children.  I can’t think of a time in which she didn’t have her arm around someone in a picture.  My grandmother’s wisdom and kindness has touched my family in more ways than one.  I swear she was the best cook in the world!  And her jokes could easily bring a  smile to my face. Summers meant warm cookies and knowing that grandma was always there. There are still sometimes I cry inside; however, I know that my grandma would want me to be happy.  Although not having her in my life has left a permanent scar, she has been my inspiration and because of her I will achieve my dreams.  She is forever in our hearts.