Carmen [eng]

Chapter 1

Stress. Anxiety.

Carmen took out a strand of colored hair from her face. Her mom told her that if she touched many times the same stran of hair, she would feel the paint leaving through her hands. She would always watch her fingers, after touching her hair, waiting to see them stained blue – or even green, now that the color was fading. –, even though she knew she was just being paranoid. For now.

She couldn't help, but smile. Almost, like she would really let some imperfection visible in that day. She could n't risk anything, not even a soft fade in her hair.

- She is coming. – Natalie whispered, slightly leaning to Carmen and squeezing her shoulder. Her nails were big, Carmen couldn't help but notice it, and pink, matching the shirt she was wearing. Carmen remembered the first time she saw Natalie, shopping with her brother. She could never imagine that they were twins. And neither that Natalie also liked girls. – She wouldn't miss this for nothing.

- That's... interesting. – she sighed, forgetting about her hair for a minute. – If she knew who your adorable brother invited, she would probably think twice before showing up here. – Carmen frowned.

- Do you mean Tim? – she really didn't seem to know who Carmen was talking about. – They had a very unpleasant history, but I don't think she would miss a reunion with her favorite people because of him. Actually, forget it. She would. They hate each other.

- You know I'm talking about. – she said, looking around, making sure no one was listening. – But nevermind.

Caleb, she could see, was in what seemed to be a pleasant conversation with the mother of one of the guests – someone who, particularly, Carmen hope wouldn't be there.

- No, I guarantee you. – she could hear him say. – Monday, at nine, it will be ready. Today is a bit complicated, because of the barbecue, but I can finish it tomorrow. For the time being, why don't you stay here with us?

Carmen rolled her eyes. Sometimes, Caleb seemed to have no tact at all. Especially today.

She really didn't want to get involved this time. No, she had wanted to get involved, but not like that. She had been asking Nat to introduce her friend, and, despite of listening more times than she'd like "maybe it's not a good idea", "not now", she really wanted to try a relationship. Most of the days, everything was perfect. Marion and her never even had a serious discussion, without spending more than two minutes without talking, and, despite the college in different states, nothing could tear them apart.

But it doesn't mean she was ready to be in a barbecue facing the person who broke countless times her girlfriend's heart.

Usually, she didn't have any self-steem issues – quite the contrary: she knew she was pretty. And, modesty aside, knew he was more attractive than her potential rival. But she couldn't help but feel sick. Despite what Cal and Nat believed, she heard them when they didn't think she was listening. "She still hasn't gotten over it", said Natalie. "And I don't even know if one day she will."

- Relax. – Caleb added, making a gesture with his hand, as if slapping a fly. – She just needs another person now. Soon, she will completely forget.

- It's as if you don't even know her. – Nat snorted. – She will never admit that she still has feelings for her. – she lowered her voice, looking around, as if she was checking to see if Carmen was really in the bathroom.

- Is not like she's suffering. – his voice was filled with sarcasm. – I remember she slept with at least three people after the breakup. You were one of them.

- So were you. – she hissed. – And your ex-girlfriend.

- Okay, let's not talk about that. What I mean is: Marion is fine. And she is on board with this relationship, or whatever is she and Carmen are doing.

- Firstly, dating other people is the way she found to mask her feelings, or avoid thinking about it. What's a great step, if we look at how she was on the first couple of weeks. Secondly, she said to Carmen that she wouldn't guarantee anything. She wasn't ready for a new commitment. And both decided to try. So, please, you don't need to talk about it near her.

- I just mentioned she reacts differently from... - he stopped himself, probably by hearing the door opening. – The other.

Carmen made herself present before the conversation could continue. By the look on Nat's face, she knew Nat knew she had listened. But she also knew she wouldn't say that to Caleb. Much less Marion.

Alright, she wasn't sure about the last part. They were friends for a long time, way before Carmen met Natalie. She just hoped Marion wouldn't know her insecurities. Or how she kept having terrible thoughts about her ex.

- Crap. – she mumbled, scared at the ring of her cell phone. The redhaired girl was smiling at her, with a wink, on the iPhone screen. She pulled the cell phone at her before anyone else saw who was calling. – Hi darling.

- I just got to the bus station. – she could feel the smile in her voice. She heard something in the background, probably a bus. – I know, you've been there for forty five minutes, and I'm a horrible person to make you wait so long. I'll get a cab and be there as soon as I can.

- No way. – she rolled her eyes. – I will pick you up. – she was already standing up, looking for the car keys in her purse. – Wait fo me, I'll be there in five minutes. And do not try to argue.

- All right, sweetheart, you're the boss. – she could feel the frown Marion was doing. – See you later.

- Where are you going? – Caleb materialized in front of her, staying on the way to the gate. – You do not intend to leave the ship now, do you? The party has barely started!

- I'd like to, but I'm going to get the guest of honor. – she put the cell phone in her bag. – Hm, your friend is staying, then?

- Friend? – he frowned. – Oh! – he ran a hand through his dark curls, the understanding coming into his eyes. – She came to get her laptop, which I said I was going to fix. I said it was not ready and asked if she would like to stay.

- And you didn't think how much your best friend would love to see her here?

- Well, I was just being polite... I did not expect her to accept. – he shrugged. – Pearl does not like crowded places. Especially when she does not know the majority.

- Does she even know you're friends with her ex-girlfriend? In fact, does she know the ex has another girlfriend now?

- Hm...

- My goodness, Caleb! – she laughted, frustrated. – I didn't think you could surprise me any more.

Carmen turned her back on him before she could hear anything else. She walked through the gate and into the car, mentally counting how much time remained to see her girlfriend. She just needed to hold her, to spend a few minutes just hugging her, forgetting the torture that awaited her when they returned.