not everything is rainbows.

1 // Black dresses and blue ties.

I'm barely nineteen years old and I'm standing in a graveyard with strangers and family surrounding me. They all hug me and tell me "It's okay.." and "It was their time." Well it didn't feel like that. It was just my fault. I stayed long enough to see them in the casket, run my hand across their faces and pick up the roses.
Can you really blame me? It's the week after I lost my parents and my birthday. My birthday is in June, so it's bright and humid, yet everyone is so dressed up. I was wearing a black tight dress. So was everyone there.
My parents crashed their car on the way to my new apartment, which I had just gotten. They gave me money for furniture. It's sad, but I'll get over it. We all will. At least that's what my friends say.
I've been at college for a year or so. We don't have summer break so I don't have time to grieve. It hurts but I'll be okay.
I dash out and make a sprint to my car. I sit and cry.. This sucks! My mom.. the person that has taught me things like how periods work and how to cook... she's gone! My dad.. the man that was my king when I broke my leg playing soccer and yelled at the boy who cheated on me. Dead. All gone. The people that were supposed to plan my wedding and hold my babies.. gone.
My apartment was three miles from my parents house. The suburbs were too expensive, so I lived in the middle class parts. No gangs, but no county clubs. I went there, got my money and suit case.
I called my boss and college and told them I couldn't stay. They accepted and the college said they could refund half of my tuition. I asked them to give me a few weeks to find a new place and I'll call back with the address. They accepted and I hung up. My boss was understanding and said I could pick up my last paycheck whenever. I would. I decided in the morning. Tonight was about mourning. For the last time. I packed a bunch of suitcases. I packed my clothes, toiletries, and a bunch of food. I put the food in a cooler, along with juice and water. I only packed junk food and some fruit, nothing that need refrigerated. I put my life savings in my purse and my phone, laptop, and their chargers.
I went to my car with an empty suitcase, along with the four I filled. I drove to my parents house. I unlock the door with my spare key and I ran to the kitchen, got my mom and dads favorite food and then I went to their room with all my suitcases. I opened the empty one and put in my mom's wedding dress and my dads favorite shirt. I put in my mom's jewelry and my dads action figures. I packed their favorite things, like clothes. I put on my dads shirt and my mom's robe and snuggled into their bed. I laid down on the pillows and cried. They smelled like them. I turned on their favorite movies and watched. I ate all the food. I cried some more, until I fell asleep.
I woke up and packed the bedding in an extra box I found. I put the clothes I wore the night before in the suitcases, along with my dad's cologne and my mom's perfume. I packed the things they loved, then I went to the place we kept all of our money and grabbed it all. It was a lot.. I grabbed my suitcase and a few pictures on my way out, lugging them all into my trunk. I drove. I don't know why, but Arizona came to mind. I just kept driving until I couldn't anymore.. it was the only consistent thing in my life right now. The pushing of the petal and the music that my dad loved. I had his shirt on and my mothers leggings. I smelled them with me, I still had them.

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Quick Note ; This is my first story, I hope it's not cliche or something, but so far I like it.

image for chapter ;

song for chapter ; supermarket flowers -ed sheeran

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Thanks for reading!