Dear World ~#LoveSimon Entry~

Dear World

Dear World,

There are many things that I feel like people don't know about me. I also am very open and find it easy to share with people, things that I probably shouldn't share.

I find myself being to critical about what other people think of me and the choices that I make. I let other people make my choices because it seems easier and I can be as indecisive as I want.

That's the hard thing about being an adult. You can no longer count on your parents to make the decisions that they have been making your whole life. I had to make my own doctor's appointment and found myself scared out of my mind. To use the phone! Something that I usually spend all day doing anyways.

I also spend a lot of time thinking about who I should be dating. I mean, who doesn't? But I think that I let my friends influence my opinion more than I should. It's my choice to date who I want. Not Sharon's opinion who lives down the street and can't get her own life together. (Sorry Sharon). I honestly just want to look at someone and have my own thoughts about them, without wondering what Sharon would think if she saw them walking into my house. (Again, sorry Sharon).

Putting that aside, I am also very tired of rejection. When I tell someone that I like them. I want them to look at me and say, "Yes, that is the girl that I am going to date because I like her." I'm really just tired of the unrequited nonsense that comes from having a one-sided crush. The only people that I am able to put my full love and affection into are fictional or celebrities.

I know I'm not the only person around that thinks that everyone is tired of hearing me talk about my problems with my mental illness. It sometimes feels like I'm a skipping record playing the part of the song that no one really likes. (Because let's face it sometimes you only like one part of the song and hold out for it.) You don't want to get right to that part and then the song starts over. That's how it feels for me to talk to my friends and family about the things that I'm going through. (Trust me guys I'm just as sick of it as you. If not more.) 

I know that this was supposed to be a letter where I talked about something that no one else knew or something that I wanted to "shout out to the world", but the things I talked about I don't talk to anyone about. It may seem like this was just a random rant from a random girl, but to me it meant so much more.

Love,

@rhiannonscott