Hi my name is Angel Venice Muraa I'm 16 and I live in Cleveland Ohio on my great aunts farm. Good news is I'm dead not literally metaphorically but I'm dying on the inside. I have Chronic leukemia I was diagnosed last fall. It has taken a really hard toll on my mom it's really hard for her to bear. I kinda feel sometimes like I'm a mistake in this world like I wasn't meant to be here. So like any normal girl with my problem I wish I could just die already but I can't because chronic means I will live with it forever until I die. So yay! What a joy. Ok so enough about my illness. I just transferred schools so I know go to John Adams High School where my 4 best friends and my boyfriend go. There names are Madeline Macabee and Jax Sanders, Rebecca Beasley and Peyton Myer, and Me and Hayes. Ok so it's already Wednesday and it's snowing like really hard? I was like tf because it wasn't supposed to snow till tomorrow!! So we got out of school but my mom was stuck at work so Hayes walked home and then came and picked me up on the four wheeler and we went to sonic to grab a bite to eat. After that we went back to his place and just our luck Nash was there. We walk in the house and Nash goes, " Well if it isn't Hangel!" I yelled back, " Your just jealous because your girlfriend just dumped you!" Nash tried to say that wasn't true that they only broke up because they went to different high schools but I bet she found out that he wasn't that into her. Hayes talks to Nash while he tells me to go grab our food. I heard him and Nash talking, " Dude kiss her!" "Im gonna I promise. we kiss all the time it's not a big deal!" I walk in and say, " Hey babe got the food and drinks." he leans over and goes, "Thanks babe!" And we kiss for what seems like forever. Nash starts making these annoying little kid noises like aw, eew, oooo. We stopped kissing and I walked over to Nash and yelled," Nash Grier so help you Lord Jesus!!" At that moment Hayes grabbed my waist and I spun around for where we were so close our noses were almost touching. He said," Baby don't worry about him he's just jealous because we are such a great couple!" I whispered to him," I know but sometimes when he does that it makes me feel like he doesn't want me around." Hayes told me that wasn't true after that we kissed then finished eating. He drove me home that night and when he dropped me off at my house he walked me to the front door and told me...
Angel I love you with all my heart and I always will! " Oh my gosh you are so sweet I love you with half my heart!" He said why only half I said," Because you have the other half!" He just started smiling really big. He said well it's an honor to have half of you beautiful heart! I told him that I was always gonna hold onto half of his. The most awful thing happened right when we started to kiss my dad opened the door and goes," Ooo sorry didn't meant to bother you" and then he slams the door. We said goodbye and I walked Inside and he walked to the four wheeler and I could tell he was blushing his face was as red as a tomato.
Chapter twø
I woke up Thursday morning in a hospital room...
My mom told me that in the middle of the night she came up to my room to check on me and I was lying in the bed barely breathing. I started yelling where's Hayes!?? Where is he?! Mom tried to tell me to calm down but I wouldn't. I got up out of the bed the nurse told me to lay back down I told her I had something important to do and so she escorted me to the waiting room where Hayes, Jax, Madeline, Rebecca, and Peyton where waiting. I collapsed into Hayes's arms he told me," Baby everything is gonna be fine don't you worry about a thing!" I replied," No it's not! Hayes I don't deserve you! You shouldn't have to put up with someone as sick as me! I'm just a burden next thing you know I'll be dying right in front of you!" I started crying and everyone walked over and we had a long group hug and they all told me " Angel your not a burden you are a blessing! We will always love you! Cancer and all!" That made me cry even harder. Hayes added " If you ever need it you can have half of my heart." I literally died on the spot at that moment. My heart was literally melting. I told him it was my lungs not my heart. He told me he'd give me one of those too.
We all exchanged goodbyes because the nurse said I had to go back to my room so I could take my medicine, and my friends were gonna go grab all of us some food. So I walked back to my hospital room took my medicine and fell right to sleep. I heard the doctor talking to my mom he was saying," I'm not sure how much longer we will need to keep her here we want to do everything possible to keep her as healthy as possible!" Mom replied saying," How long do you think she's got before you know..." Doc. replied," I say if she doesn't have another one of these days where she can barely breathe at night then I'd say she's got a pretty good life ahead of her!" " And if she does?" Mom asked. " I'd say probably say she's got around at the most 5 years and that's not counting if we have to put her in Hospice care.."
I could tell my mom was about to have a come apart because five years can fly by in the blink of an eye. I started to get worried so I started moving around like I was uncomfortable and the doc told mom," I'll let her get some rest I'll be back in a couple of hours." Mom said ok and closed the door behind him turned around and said," Alright Angel the jigs up I know you heard every bit of it." I said," Was I that bad an actress?" We both started laughing and pretty soon my nasty hospital lunch arrived. Mom knew I wouldn't eat it so she called Hayes and asked him if he'd pick up something for me to eat of course he said yes. So when he got here while I was eating he sat in the bed with me and we just kinda sat there holding hands and I told him," You shouldn't have to put up with someone like me you know. As sick as I am."
Yes I do he replied! " I will love you will half my heart forever and always!"
