The one person I've truly ever loved asked me once. "When do you not do what you want to do?"
I didn't know where to start....
I've been and done many things but being "True to myself", no not enough.
If I'd taken the time the signs I so desperately wanted to see were there. I just didn't know what to do with them. I was so focused on giving and trying to please, to stand out from the others, I became a fool of my own of nature. I missed my chance to be with him, my one true love.
It is my greatest regret and my silent punishment.
I always stood out and I showed them all in every wrong way you can imagine. So clever and so yet so stupid.
I dream of Quantum theory and multiverses so I know somewhere out there there's me, living the life I still dream of.
It's unfortunate that I also don't fit convention. I'm not the girl next door. I'm not the stay at home wife, I'm not what he hopes I could be.
So, I steal the bits of life that make me almost whole and stick them together with some universe glue. That's how life moves and shapes you, not on what's right but on where you went wrong. Regrets move you forward, life eats you up while you stay behind. Those moments that shape you into what you should have been, and so you become the next best thing.
You move forward broken and unfixed.
