Shifting Love

Her Love

 "Lawrence, it just isn't working out between us. I am so sorry. That spark just isn't there for me." Not again.

"Please Bailey, give me another shot." I thought it would work out this time.

"No. This is final. Call me up for a drink or two, but nothing more. It will never work." She sighs and hangs up the phone. I listen to the static. Time to change.

~~~

"Maybe if you weren't such a douche I wouldn't have to have this conversation with you! Fuck off Adam, you and your snarky comments." Maybe the comments were a bit harsh.

"Please Bailey, give me another shot." It didn't work out this time.

"Go find some whore to fuck, because apparently that's all I am to you." The static eats away at my soul. I can't do this. Why? Why did it have to be her. Such a difficult woman. That's why I love her I guess. Here we go again.

~~~

"James, please. I don't like you that much. I just wanted a fling. My last relationship was hard." I fucked up again.

"Please Bailey, another shot." Why can't I do this right?

"I don't want a relationship. I'm not ready. You're a sweet guy, really James, but it just isn't the right time for us. Maybe in another life." My heart shatters as I hear the static once again. This is the last time.

~~~

I give it more time this time around. Almost a year. I watch her from afar, do a bit of social media stalking, and make sure she wants to be in a relationship. I was going to do it right this time. I needed to do it right. If I didn't do it right this time I would officially give up. Start up anew somewhere else. I could do this.

I change my appearance one last time. Dark hair, green eyes, pale complexion, tall, slender, and dimples. I looked mysterious. Not my usual getup. Maybe that's what I needed to do, branch from the norm and the stereotypes. Be different. I felt good about this look.

I go to a bar some Friday night. She's out with her friends getting drinks. She sits in the corner, laughing. Her blue eyes light up at something her friend said. She is still beautiful as the day I first saw her. Her hair as bright as gold, and her skin sunkissed. She was average height, and round in all the right places. She was perfect.

She leaves to go get a drink, and I sit next to her as she waits. She smiles at me, slightly tipsy, and slightly flirting. I give a cautious smile back. She was always the one to initiate it.

"You single?" She asks boldly. More bold that she had ever asked.

"Yes. Are you as well?" I say with a soft smile.

"Just put myself on the market recently. My name is Bailey." She sticks out her hand. I grab it. When we touch I feel the sparks I hadn't ever felt before. This time really was different.

"Michael. Can I ask to buy you a drink and have a conversation with a lady as lovely as yourself?" Compliments. She always liked them.

"I would. I really would. This is a celebratory visit, however. My friend just dumped her ass of a boyfriend. It was dreadful really. Here," she writes something on a napkin and slides it over. "Maybe I'll respond if you text. Maybe not." She giggles and walks off. I watch her hips sway in the dim lighting. I look at the number, and smile. This was going extremely well.

We text for a few days, and hang out once or twice. Everything was just going too right. We date. We actually date. I make sure to make time, not be a douche, and not be overbearing with my emotions. It was perfect. We last over a year. She shows me her love. We talk about moving in together. We move in together. Nothing could've been better. It was all going amazing, almost too amazing.

She calls me one night, saying how she is going to be late. I offer to make dinner, she tells me that I am the best and how much she loves me. I tell her she's a goddess and that I love her. We hang up. I start dinner when I get another phone call.

"Is this Michael Morier?" A strange voice asks.

"This is he." I say with a wavering voice.

"Bailey has been in an accident. It was all of a sudden. I am so sorry sir," the phone drops. I stand there dumbfounded. It was going to work out. It was going to be alright.

I fall to the floor. I can't go on. Not without her. Not like this. She was my star. My sun. My moon. The breath of life in me. I couldn't go on. I look around my kitchen. There. I grab my chosen tool. I will see you soon my love.