who am I?

ch. 8

(Izaya P.O.V)

I quickly came back to myself and saw Shizu-chan was worried. Worried, about me? *Thump* No! He hates you! You got rid of those feelings long ago! " What's wrong Shizu-chan? I was just joking with-" My rude comment was interupted by Shinra and Celty. "We've come to a decision. We'll let you free if you get us one ticket for Izoro Yukines show." Then he gave a scary smile." First row." Was he joking!! "His shows tonight!! Tickets are all sold out! And first row, that's near impossible!!" I shouted.
"Then no deal and have a good rest of your day with Shizuo." I wanted to cry.
"Fine, I'll do it. Then I'll find Shizu-chan after. Deal?"
"Deal!" Then the chains were gone and I ran home. How much time? 25 minutes. Well fudge! It was then that I remembered my guitar was at Shizu-chans. I was about to swear up a storm when I remembered Kasuka was at home today. So I quickly called him and told him my delimma and my address. He rushed over with it.
     By the time he knocked on the door, I was ready to go. I had talked to the manager and got a ticket, gotten ready, and was not agreeing with ideas that came to mind for tonight. So, I rushed to the door and he came in.

"Nice to see you again Izoro. How are you?"
"I'm better, thanks to you." I smiled.  However, as soon as he stepped inside I  realized there was almost a physical question mark over his head.
"What is it? You look like you want to ask a question?" He nodded and took a deep breath as he said. "I'm sorry, but I was wondering which ones the real you?" I was baffled. The real me? Was he talking about Izoro or Izaya?
"Their both the real me. That's the same as me asking who's the real you, Kasuka or Shizu-chans brother. I'm me, just the same. " He gave me a confused look and changed the subject. "So, what's the topic for tonight?"
He couldn't have asked a normal question? "They decided on love. *sigh* I completely forgot about it and I have 5 minutes till I have to be there." He smiled, a rare occurrence and patted me on the shoulder. "Just sing what's in your heart like always and you'll be amazing. I'll leave you to finish getting ready. As he closed the door I whispered, "That's what I'm afraid of."
You see, when I'm Izoro, I'm free. There's no cages or chains holding me down, I do what I want without fear of repercussions, unless that some how involves my real identity being found out.
    But when I'm Izaya, I'm the opposite. So many people think that just because I smile and dance around, I'm happy and free. But they couldn't have been more wrong. In fact if you asked them what they thought about him they would say, " You always see him around, smiling and dancing. He's as free as a feather while everyone else is here working sun up to sun down.  He even messes with the monster of Ikubukero. Messing up the city and people's lives. He's a lunatic that doesn't have to do anything to get what he wants. And with the Yakuza guarding his back, it's nearly impossible to get revenge. That-" Then they'd continue and say some pretty low things about me. And yes, I've been curious and asked what they thought about me. It didn't boost my spirit at all.
      I mean, I work really hard at being an informant. It's because I'm good at it and efficient that I'm partnered with the Yakuza. It just so happens that I don't have normal work hours, so while they're safe and asleep, I'm working and going through information. I'm really not that bad a guy, but 'once a bad guy always a bad guy' as the saying goes. I mean, no matter what I say, I'm just trying to make everyone honest with themselves and be happy.
     I mean, the information I gave to a wife who's husband disappeared led to her finding him, correct? They did get a divorce, and their were some problems there, but the wife no longer worried and would eventually remarry and be happy. But it's all my fault that she was depressed for awhile. Do you see how this goes, each and every time?
    It's heartbreaking. Especially as a highschooler who hadn't done anything yet. So that's when I split myself in two. Two complete people with opposite personalities. I once heard that having split personalities was a disease that needed to be cured, but look at me. I'm doing perfectly fine with it.
    At first Izoro was a good, blind samaritan that helped people and went by himself to sing karaoke. It so happened that one night I was singing ( in a girly voice I might add) and a record  company was there.*sigh* This is one of the reasons why almost everyone thinks I'm a girl. I signed as Izoro and that was pretty much it.  I guess what they say is true. ' For every ying theres a yang'. So all in all, Izoro is the nicest person you can meet and Izaya, well everyone thinks he can just go- *Knock Knock*
" Izoro, your on in five minutes." Said a worker form outside my door.
"Welcome back little ghost!" Came another voice. Cherry, who is an enthusiastic associate.
I laughed to myself. "I hadn't even realized that I had gotten here. I was so deep in thought that I must have been on autopilot.  Hahahahaaaaaa. I'm still not used to that nickname though. Just because I disappear and reappear without a trace doesn't mean I'm a ghost. Although, I do like the cheery, happy voice that she says it in. One of the perks of being a good guy, huh.
"All right, let's retune my guitar." I opened my case and found a note inside.
Dear Flea,

I'm sorry for making you upset. On the bright side I haven't thrown anything at you....yet. Anyway, I'll try to listen to you before I yell at you next time. However, that doesn't mean you can weasel your way out of things.

Your enemy,
Shizuo

P.S. I have not touched or looked at your guitar. It is also in the same state as you left it.

P.P.S. Shinra is not looking over my shoulder and making me write this.

That was it. That stupid, stupid, idiot protozoan. He can't even lie in a letter. I found myself fighting tears. Why? I have no clue, but now isn't the time for that. I placed the letter in an inside pocket and tuned my heart.
"Little ghost, your up in 1 minute." Came Cherrys voice through the door. I sighed and added the finishing touches to my outfit. Grabbed my guitar and put my blindfold on that I could see somewhat through. As I locked the door behind me, I tried my best not to think of Shizu-chan. At the stage, I became Izoro completely. I am no longer Izaya.

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Dun dun duuuun and next update will be the concert. I know it's been a while and  I'm sorry, but I just moved!! Not to mention exams are finally over and there's no school for a while. I'm hoping this means I'll have more time to update, but I'm constantly traveling with my family to visit relatives. I wish you all good luck this summer. See you next time!!!