When the love crashed into the wall of insecurities,
I fell under the spell,
Of thinking everything will be okay.
But isn't that a delusional thought?
Even when I felt like I could rule my own world,
The truth seeped in,
And all my secrets were spilled,
Into a fountain.
It flowed like a waterfall.
It washed over him, and made him wonder
Who I truly was.
The intentions of telling him was low,
And so was my esteem.
Everything I felt,
Fell into the depth of this ocean I have created in my mind.
Any escape?
I have no clue.
Only the wind calls my name.
I don't hear his voice anymore.
Where has he gone?
Only the seas scream out at my heart,
Where my mind has gone to,
I have no clue.
Only if there was an escape,
I'd run away,
Into a place where I would never have to stress or worry.
As I saw the tears welling in his eyes,
I finally knew how disappointment felt.
I understood the emotion of letting someone down.
It felt like there was an elephant in the room with us.
Every breath felt more laborious,
Than climbing the tallest mountain in the world.
I didn't want to let him down again,
So I came up with the best decision I believed was possible to make...
I said goodbye.
I know it hurt him,
But it felt like I hurt myself even more so.
The tears wouldn't stop rolling down my face,
As I screamed out his name.
My heart was pounding out of my chest.
My flesh yearned for him to be near...
But he wasn't to be found.
I have no clue how I'm going to live...
If he was my all,
I am nothing now.
The tears burned like watery flames against my cheeks.
The thoughts and memories passed over my brain,
I could feel every little memory of love,
Slipping away,
Just like I had.
I tried to hold on for dear life,
But it just kept disintegrating from my grasp.
I screamed to the God above,
But there was no response.
Just the empty silence that filled the night.
I wanted to break the silence,
But only the tears would stream.
Only darkness tried to comfort me.
It swallowed me up,
And held me tight in its grasps.
I couldn't escape.
Not now,
Not ever.
Jessica L. Thompson
