PLEASE READ THE A/N at the end it's burry important!
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if i had any heart left to break,I'm pretty sure it would've
i wanted so badly to scroll through the messages, but doing that,would only make me feel worse. i did it anyways.
"ewww she is a fucking whore "
"ikr who would ever like her!"
"She's probably a lesbian"
"i fucking hate her so much like seriously who could even make a person so ugly?"
"Like is it even possible to be that hideous and slutty?"
"Does anyone wish she would do us a fucking favor and just kill herself already?"
"I heard she has tried multiple times, to bad she failed!"
I finally has the strength to turn my phone off. I threw my phone down on the couch and ran upstairs to the bathroom closing and locking the door.
I let my tears stray from my eyes and roam my face. They freely fell this time without me stopping them. I felt worthless. Were the things they said true? I shook my head and placed my back against the door, sliding down the lifeless floor. I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them resting my chin on them .I felt the salty tears enter my mouth and my nose slightly starting to drip carelessly, i was to tired to wipe any of it away so they just continued to repopulate my face. I could feel them dampening my arms and creating dark spots. I picked my head up wiping away the tears and my running nose. Slowly i stood up and made my way the the sink. I washed my face off and looked up into the mirror staring into my enemy's eyes,her eyes staring right back filled of hate.
My eyes then trailed off to my wrist, slowly pulling up both my sleeves, and taking off my bracelets, i stared. I examined the scars, the healing cuts, and the slightly fresh ones. I opened the drawer taking out my razor blade and setting it down gently on my right wrist. I looked back up at my reflection in the mirror, my expression softening. I noticed how broken i looked, how horrible the sight was. And almost..just almost for a second, i felt sorry for myself. That all changed quickly though. I deserve this. Everything is my fault! If I would've been better, prettier, they would like me! If I had tried harder, then I would have never been in this situation. I felt a warm liquid covering my hand and dripping into the sink. I looked down at my wrist. I hadn't even notice i had already started shredding it up, there were about "one...five..six.ten.thirteen" i counted. 13 cuts in my wrist. I still hadn't notice that the razor blade was still being held harshly into my wrist. I released my grip and it fell on the sink.
I felt a single tear drop. I had no emotion on my face now. Not a single muscle moved when i heard the front for open and swing closed. Following it was the sound of kassie calling my name. That's when reality hit me. "Fuck!" I whispered to myself running the water over the blade cleansing it of its blood. I forced my arm under wincing a bit as the hot water hot the cuts. "Shit that's ducking hot!" I yelped scurrying to turn off the water. "Robin?" "Are you in there?" She shouted rattling the locked door nob. I was hustling to clean up all the blood. I turned around nervously nocking all the lotion bottles off my counter top and in the process getting my sleeve drenched in blood. "Robin what is going on in there?" She pounded on the door still rattling the door nob. "Uhh I'll be out in a minute..i was uhh.. I was taking a quick poop!" I Said as she laughed mentally face palming myself. A quick poop?! I grabbed the towel and quickly treated up my cuts intending to finish later. I pulled down my other sleeve to cover the cuts on my wrist before opening the door."took you long enough!" She said laughing. I was hiding the blood stained sleeve by folding it up, might I add looking ridiculous in the process. "Um im ago change ok be right back!" I said hoping she wouldn't follow me into my bedroom where she felt more than comfortable in. To my disadvantage she did. She flung herself down on my bed and buried her face in my pillows.
I walked into my closet and closed the door. I tore off my shirt and replaced with another right before i the door flung open. "What are you doing child?" She asked laughing as she grabbed my ..no no no no no no no not that wrist!! To late. She grabbed my newly cut wrist and yanking me up off the ground. I let out a yelp wishing i would've kept my mouth shut.
"Robin what wrong did i grab you that har-" he looked down at my wrist. Heading for my sleeve about to pull it up, i slapped her hand down onto my worst not letting her yank it up but regretting it at the same time. My wrist was pounding in pain, i loved it. Anger filled her coral green eyes, "robin move your hand." She said in a stern low voice. I looked into her eyes as they burned a hole of guilt i to me. My head hung in shame as i surrendered to her and hesitantly moved my hand. She slowly pulled my sleeve up catching a long look of my new markings. She finally loosened her grip on me as her eyes became soft and disappointed. Expecting her to tell at me or argue with me about it, she did something else. She enveloped me into her arms and hugged me. I broke down, and she broke down with me. Slowly making our way to my bed and put of the closet, she sat down with me in her arms. I felt her tear on my head as she held it to her chest. My arms were wrapped around her placed over her shoulders using her as my support. She gently rolled my sleeve down and hugged me tighter still crying with me. "I don't know what to do robin,how can i make you stop this. You need to stop , your breaking my heart, your my sister, and I can't loose you because you mean to much to me." She whispered as her tears hit my hair. "I can't kas, i just can't I'm sorry ,i can't do this anymore!" I cried as she continued to hold me. "Robin please try..if not for yourself, do it for me, do it because your strong enough to get through this, i promise you things will get better robin, but doing this isn't going to make it any better!" She pleaded with me.
I nodded my head and looked up at her wiping my eyes, we sat there a few minutes hugging and both stopped crying by now. "Kas" i said softly "yeah rob?" She replied, "do you think we could eat something, I'm starving!" I said as we both bust out laughing. "Of course robin, when aren't you hungry!" She said as we both stood up and made our way into the kitchen where we would shove our faces.
PLEASE READ A/N
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HEYYYYYY sorry I've taken forever to update,it's just some things have happened and it's been crazy with me!! But anyways i kinda want to fill you in,most of the things in this book come from my life, i mean minus the niall horan part lol, but a lot of the things i wrote about i can relate to in a way or i have been in situations like them before, so i just want to let you know that even though I may be making most parts up, some have occurred on my life. This book already means a lot to me and I'm trying my hardest to update and get stuff written right now, and there is only one of me so i apologize.
If you are going through anything, and i mean anything at all whether it be cutting, suicide, self harm, ect. You can talk to me about whatever, and i mean ANYTHING and i promise you, i absolutely positively protons you with all my hear and soul to never judge you or anything. No matter what it is, if you need someone to talk to, or just someone to listen to what you are telling them, know that I am more than willing to be that person. Because i. Know what it feels like to have nobody, i know how it feels to have nobody that cares, I've been there done that. And i just want you to know that someone cares, even if i have never met you in my life, or you don't even live on this planet galaxy or even universe, i care. You have somebody. And I will be whatever you need me to be for you. Because i care about you. You are beautiful and amazing, and I would love to talk to you! So with that being said i love you all and couldn't be more appreciative about all the things you guys have done for me,from actually taking time to read my crappy stories, to listening to me talk on and on !
LOVE YOU BUNCHES :*
Rember vote comment and love the story!
Should i do a question of the day? Yeah nah maybe ??!?
-Auzhieah
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a kiss on the wrist
Fanfiction"So this is growing up huh,you know tear stained pillows every night,staring naked at yourself in the mirror, waiting for a text that will never come, wishing for impossible things, like narrower thighs or prettier hair. It's a vicious cycle of bein...
