"I was born a worrier, and made into a warrior!"

Dear World,

Dear world,
Through out my life I've always been....kind of weird, but at the same time, completely normal. I have brown hair and brown eyes. And all I see on the media is pictures of pretty blondes with blue eyes. I've always felt different inside but appear the same on the outside. And to tell you the truth, I now can proudly say, that I enjoy having brown eyes and brown hair. Because I may not look special. I feel special and that's more important than  aesthetic features. But it wasn't always like that, through out all my life, I have had ADHD and Anxiety. I was that crazy, rambunctious, unpredictable kid you saw on the play ground, but as I grew I stared seeing my flaws more and more, every time I looked in the mirror, I was changing, becoming more shy, more nervous and more mean. I was becoming a monster. I stared lashing out at people, physically hurting people and going mentally insane. I couldn't stand the monster glaring back at me through the mirror. It got to a point were I was no longer feeling pain just internal numbness. Like I was forever trapped in a drought. Until, one day I told my mom everything. I don't know why, I don't know how. But I did. And THAT was the BEST decision I have ever made. My mom helped me. Took me to therapy. Slept in my room to help me, and overall saved my life. I stared getting more confident with each new prescription and therapy session I went to. Now I'm more confident than I have every been in my entire life. And couldn't be happier. Every now and then I will get this surge of jealousy from a friend doing something I quit when I gave up on things, and when those times happen, I just lay down, and say to myself, YOU, are worth so much more than pointe shoes and haircuts and all of these earthly things. YOU are smart, funny, ambitious, wise, cunning, loyal, courageous, kind, empathetic, hard working, and you treat everyone equally. You don't need any of those things to make you feel special because you ARE special. Sometimes, I surprise myself with the wise things that come out of my mouth, other times, I just slap my own hand and go: Point Annabelle! I don't know what the future holds for me. I just know that I will have friends, family and most importantly, God, with me to help with the struggles life has to offer. Thinking about all of these things has made me realize why I want to be an actress, it's because I know what it feels like to be alone and I never want ANYONE to feel like that. There are many things I have shared with you, but not all of them. So, when you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark. Love,
@petite_annabelle